Government pizza...
Government.... pizza.
Meanwhile somewhere around 400 bona fide ISIS guys returned to London.
ORDERING PIZZA IN THE DIGITAL ECONOMY:
CALLER:
Is this Gordon’s Pizza?
GOOGLE:
No sir, it’s Google Pizza.
CALLER:
I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.
GOOGLE:
No sir, Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month.
CALLER:
OK. I would like to order a pizza.
GOOGLE:
Do you want your usual, sir?
CALLER:
My usual? You know me?
GOOGLE:
According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.
CALLER:
OK! That’s what I want ...
GOOGLE:
May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?
CALLER:
What? I detest vegetables!
GOOGLE:
Your cholesterol is not good, sir.
CALLER:
How the hell do you know!
GOOGLE:
Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.
CALLER:
Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol.
GOOGLE:
Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you only purchased a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drug RX Network, 4 months ago.
CALLER:
I bought more from another drugstore.
GOOGLE:
That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.
CALLER:
I paid in cash.
GOOGLE:
But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.
CALLER:
I have other sources of cash.
GOOGLE:
That doesn’t show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law.
CALLER:
WHAT THE HELL!!!
GOOGLE:
I’m sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.
CALLER:
Enough already! I’m sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I’m going to an island without internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.
GOOGLE:
I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago.
But as a 69 year old man, I like to split a small pizza with my wife for dinner. If I go to the UK, will I now need to order two instead?
This is what Feinstein, Pelosi, and Schumer have planned for America. All who read these words better be at the voting booth on November 6th.
When you take government healthcare, suddenly the government is very invested in your health.
“Pizzas must shrink or lose their toppings under Government plans to cap the calories in thousands of meals sold in restaurants and supermarkets.
Pies, ready meals and sandwiches will also be subject to the new proposed calorie limits...”
Oh the kind of stuff Hillary stands for! GFY.
What’s to stop some hungry person from printing a high calorie 3D pizza at home?
“Pizzas must shrink or lose their toppings under Government plans to cap the calories in thousands of meals sold in restaurants and supermarkets.
Pies, ready meals and sandwiches will also be subject to the new proposed calorie limits...”
Oh the kind of stuff Hillary stands for! GFY.
Brexit wasn’t good enough.
Well duh! Instead of cutting it in 12 slices, just do 8. Problem solved. There is a you tube out there of an english dude trying to see if his girlfriend would like her medium pizza in 12 or 8 pieces. She repeatedly says there’s no way she can eat 12 slices................ Hello? Anybody home?
Dear mother country, please send your sane folks over here and we’ll send you our progressives. Great deal for us, and well, the UK will soon be Mosque territory anyway.
Having other people make all of your decisions is the best way to cure laziness. (rolling eyes)
What are they going to do, send the Pizza Police around to check the caloric content? It might be a pretty cool job.
This could easily happen in America, and of course the next step is, when I engage in unhealthy behavior such as eating a little too much occasionally, I'll be prevented from using the government run health care.
You will lose freedoms. You will lose freedoms. You will lose freedoms.
Under socialized medicine you will not be able to choose the drug you want to take. You will be forced to take the one they decide on for you. It will be the cheapest and possibly least effective drug for your chronic condition that is sold.
Today I am lamenting the stupidity of fellow Americans, that they would not get this. The Russians and Georgians have told me - they believe we have a very materialistic society.
Perhaps the worship of "free everything" has emerged from this like a sin. And it may just be our downfall.
Praying we don't end up a socialist country.
Won’t that drive the large pizza maket underground?
Hey bud..youse want a large pizza with everything...$50.
“Pizzas must shrink”
Big deal. Customers will now order two pizzas instead of one. It will make the customer even fatter.
Idiot liberals and their do-gooder policies. The government cafeterias will be exempt of course.
Easy solution for UK pizza lovers: Get pizza classified as a Muslim delicacy. Then no one would dare interfere with it.
HAH - all during the Obamacare debate I kept pointing out to the leftists that once government dictates your healthcare they’ll then dictate what you can eat.
“Oh nooo” they said “this is just to ensure that everyone has access to health insurance”
A few did say “good. We need it.”
To paraphrase Benjamin Franklin - those who sacrifice medical liberty for a little medical security deserve neither. (Ooh and they HATED when I said that too)