Royal Navy Sailors Fix Uber Driver's Car (Non-drunken sailor shenanigans)

https://www.portsmouth.co.uk/news/defence/hms-queen-elizabeth-sailors-praised-by-florida-uber-driver-for-fixing-her-car-1-8633238 ^

[Ikeon]

/s. means SARCASM OFF.. i was using SARCASM. lol

[Blood of Tyrants]

LOL! I only read the words I want to.

[rlmorel]

Hahahahahaha! After I wrote it, I was stuck with it!

I recall seeing a thing a while back where they demonstrated with a mens choir how that shanty would have been sung...

It started with one man singing:
What do you do with a drunken sailor?

Followed by a larger portion singing the next line:
What do you do with a drunken sailor?

Followed by an even larger portion singing the next line:
What do you do with a drunken sailor?

Then the entire choir would sing loudly:
Early in the morning!

Then next stanza would be started by one man:
Stick him in the hawsepipe till he’s sober!

Followed by a larger portion singing the next line:
Stick him in the hawsepipe till he’s sober!

Followed by an even larger portion singing the next line:
Stick him in the hawsepipe till he’s sober!

Then the entire choir would sing loudly:
Early in the morning!

This went on for a bit, and the lyrics got bawdier and bawdier...I I realized “Yes...of course...they WOULD sing in in some way like that.

They probably didn’t all discuss as they were hoisting the sails or working a capstan what song they were going to sing, one guy would have started off, and the rest joined in in that fashion.

When the first line would come up for the next stanza, they would take turns either singing it, or in the case of this one, making up a new line. Some guys probably liked it and wanted to, some guys probably didn’t, but they were probably all comfortable singing the last line together every time.

It was probably the best thing to do for sailors who were hung over. And in a hard, dangerous, and mostly boring way of making a living, it probably added some life to it.

And there was probably a degree of hilarity (at least on a happy ship) when one guy who had a knack, would make up a funny or spicy new line and they would all start laughing.

Or the guy who nobody expected to do it piped in and made one up.

I loved it when that hit me. I had never given a sea shanty much more of a look than what I saw in an occasional movie...and when I saw that chorus, it just made sense!

[rlmorel]

LOLOL! Loved the one about repealing Ohm’s Law!

[rlmorel]

NOTE: This is long, and you don't have to read it (I have another reason for writing it) but in reading this, you tell me that the BSCD didn't bite me hard! Heck, it even cost me one relationship...:) Just thinking about it sent me down memory lane...

---

I had a 1976 MG Midget. My first car that I bought myself.

I was in the Navy, had just finished my first Med cruise, and had saved enough on that cruise for a down payment (I did go on liberty overseas, but what the hell else was I going to do with my money?) and went to a used car lot near Jacksonville, FL (I was at NAC Cecil Field) where I saw the car.

It had 26 thousand miles. It was a completely weird greenish-yellowish color that I found out later in life was "Chartreuse". I just thought it was piss yellow, and looked brown under streetlights. It had a touch of opaque degradation around the edges of the rear plastic window. Boy, did I fall for that car (and the salesman probably steered me right to it!) I have maybe one or two pictures of that car, but this one from the Internet resembles it:

Arranged it with the bank, got the insurance set up. I must say...there are a lot of kids who find out about what it means to have to pay for something when they have to buy toilet paper themselves for the first time. For me, it was when I had to buy that insurance. I swear, I nearly fell on the floor, and I'm not joking. I was so flabbergasted, my knees nearly buckled.

I was 19, male, in the US Navy, and my insurance was going to cost me $1200 a year!!!!!!!! (And this was in 1978!)

I took that check to the used car lot, jumped in, and took off. Man, I was 19, the sun was out, and I had my first car! Driving in the left hand lane of that Florida highway, the world was my oyster!

Then in a flash, the car suddenly bucked and the engine died! I probably hadn't gone more than three or four miles, and the car died! I did a dead stick landing in the right hand breakdown lane after cutting across all three lanes, and stood there forlornly wondering why my new car was dead.

I never even thought to look at the gas gauge. Out of gas. Remember, this was during one of those Gas Crisis times, so the guy probably emptied every drop he could out of it before selling it to me! Heh, I had never even looked at the gas gauge.

I was a jet mechanic, but I learned every single thing I knew about cars on that car. And I learned every cussword there was to know, too. (My nephews tell me that they learned all they knew about cussing by watching me work on my British Sports Car in the driveway.)

Weeks after I got it, I had to replace the tires, which I couldn't afford. $400. Then, trying to do my own maintenance, I contaminated the clutch with gear oil. That cost something like $600! Flabbergasted, I asked why it was so expensive, and the guy said they had to pull the engine out of the car to fix the clutch...something I found out for myself a few short years later.

But the most annoying was a series of alternators I had to replace, with were something like $75 a pop! Then a battery. And when I replaced the battery, I saw a huge amount of corrosion and residue in the battery area. I didn't click with me, because I still didn't know much about cars. On one of my trips up the East Coast when going home on leave (a 24 hour drive which I would do straight through) the noxious gasses from the overcharging battery made my eyes and throat sting, and I could taste it in my mouth, until the car died in a rest area.

It turned out the entire problem was due to the battery cables, which were simple caps. Not a lead thing you clamped down with a bolt, but...simple lead caps. They didn't fit snugly, came loose, had corrosion, so the problems ended up with an overcharging battery that erupted acid which ran down into the battery compartment. I later heard that some people who used that idiotic cable-cap system simply drove a wood screw through the top of the lead cap into the battery post!

Well, I learned how to fix that car, and for the next eight years I drove it through New England snowstorms, and while it only left me stranded once, that was simply because of the inordinate amount of time I spent working on it.

I had it repainted, replaced the convertible top and the carpeting, took out the crappy stock radio and console and put a new radio and customized the console with new oil temperature, ammeter, and other gauges that matched. I replaced the springs with stiffer ones, shock absorbers with stiff ones, replaced all the front end bushings and added an inch thick sway bar. I replaced the single Zenith carburetor and manifold and put twin stromberg carburetors on, put in electrical ignition, put special cool looking mags on it that looked like this:
But the customization I loved most was a really cool looking dual exhaust system that was jet black and had four chrome tipped pipes that peeked out just under the bumper. I don't have any pictures, but when I searched the Internet, after all these years...there it was!

I could never determine if I got a single extra horsepower out of that car with all those things, but boy, was it ever fun to drive, and sounded great!

That car went everywhere. Never got stuck in the snow. I actually had radial chains for it. Put about 130,000 miles on it before I sold it to buy a reliable car after I got married...:)

One of my favorite stories: I had a great aunt who lived on Cape Cod, my Aunt Sally. She was an 88 year old irish woman, thin and short, and had absolutely no governor on her mouth. She said anything that came into her mind...today, she would turn even the staunchest Social Justice Warrior into a quivering mass of indignant outrage. She was blunt to the point of absurdity, and our family, even decades later, still tells stories about my Aunt Sally. Conversations usually included at least one low-voiced admonition from a relative "Aunt Sally...you just can't say things like that..."

So, my father told me to be a good grand-nephew and visit her where she lived alone on the Cape, so I went down there to take her out to lunch.

As I pull up, she comes outside in a long, heavy overcoat, old fashioned hat on top of her head, huge, sky-blue purse dangling from one forearm (the kind that resemble a foot tall Isosceles triangle when viewed on end, and could probably have been used to storm a castle under a rain of arrows) and she peered at me and my piss-yellow sportscar from behind her Cat-Eye glasses.

"Are we going in that?" she asked suspiciously.

When I said we were, she paused dubiously, then got in as I held the door open for her.

I walked to the other side of the car and got in, and was starting up the car as I noticed her furiously digging away in her giant purse for something. She pulled out something and slapped in on my side window.

It was a "St. Christopher Help Us" sticker! I very nearly burst out laughing, but she was all set to go after that. I left that sticker on my car until I sold it...:)

[Figment]

Fixed a headlight bulb? Doesn’t take a sober sailor to do that

[mabarker1]

Available only from here

Your Exhaust System is/was a Monza Brand. Excellent quality Italian made aftermarket Exhaust Systems.

Did You ever have the Fire caused by the Fuel Pump leaking on the Distributor ???

I sold Import Auto Parts starting at 11 years old and did that for 20 years. If the Part Number System was still the same as back then I could pull every part needed to rebuild Your entire car with out ever looking in a Parts Catalog. Internal Engine Parts: Piston Rings/Bearings/Gasket Sets, Brake & Clutch Hydraulics, Pressure Plate/Clutch Disk/Throw out Bearing/Pilot Shaft Bushing, Brake Pads & Shoes, Steering & Suspension, Shocks, Electrical Switches/Lamps/Lenses, Tune Up, Oil/Air/Fuel Filters, Fuel Pump, Wiper Blades AND Anything else...

That's been 45 years ago and I still retain that Information in My head.

But I'll be Damned if I can remember what the heck I had for Breakfast YESTERDAY !!!

[Chode]

is it cheaper to replace the smoke or the part???

[21twelve]

I’ve gotten sick and tired of paying mechanics to do a half-ass job. I watch numerous videos and try to determine who knows what they are talking about.

After going over numerous blogs and youtubes I was almost going to not attempt changing the spark plugs in a 2005 Toyota Highlander V6. You have to take a bunch of crap off the engine to reach the rear ones.

Once I got into it, the only real tricky part was one bolt that you had to do by feel. It was time-consuming though. The timing belt will need to be replaced in another 40,000 miles - that one DOES seem way too difficult to do. Today’s price is $2,200 or so to replace it. (The car is only worth about $8,000).

Like so many things, if I knew then what I know now I would have passed on it. (Huh - a rubber timing belt!? Not a chain!!!???)

I am going to tackle the Honda van’s motor mounts.

[Ikeon]

had to pull the intake on a 2012 charger. a few “ feel me “ bolts. and a lot of plugs and hoses to unplug reroute or remove.. The intake gaskets were about a buck apiece.(6) . ordered the plugs online for about 30 bucks. entire job costs less than $40. and almost 2 hours of my time. Im going back to something before 1972 asap. and good luck with the honda motor mounts. dont forget to use a torque wrench. the intake is plastic. and will crack.

[21twelve]

My old neighbor mechanic always laughs at me when I pull out my torque wrenches. “Oh - you don’t need those - just make it snug.” Or - “Just tighten it as far as it will go, then give it another few yanks.”

When he saw me messing with the intake cover for the rear plugs he said “Hell - it was running fine, wasn’t it? Just replace the easy ones and skip the rears.” (!!!???) It had about 120,000 miles on it and no record of a plug change.

Being a novice at car repairs I figure the least I can do is go by the book whenever I can.

[rlmorel]

Ha! That’s priceless...I am grabbing that image!

Import Auto Parts! I used them for years nearly exclusively...heh, they knew me by my first name!

I never did have the Fire, but did have to replace that damned pump twice. I could never figure that out, it wasn’t a complicated piece of hardware, but there seemed to be something fundamentally wrong with it. (Thankfully, my engine had the mechanically operated pump with that little lever arm that was inserted in the rectangular hole in the side of the engine block...not the electronic one, which could only spell imminent failure!

Isn’t that amazing how your brain does that? I can remember with granular clarity bending over in a sunny, dew covered grass field at 0630 in the morning (when I lived in the Philippines) to examine some unusual flower that had caught my attention while I was on my way to summer school, but as you said, I can’t remember what I had for dinner the day before yesterday!

I guess when you are young, there is a lot of room inside there to comfortably store things in an organized manner, but as you get older and have less available room, you have to FIFO things in and out a lot more...:)

Funny, with Import Auto Parts, I only got one bad part from them in all those years. In my other post, I talked about how flabbergasted I was that they had to remove the engine in my car to replace the clutch....well, I had to replace it again and decided to to it myself.

I parked my car under a big maple tree, hooked a chain system under a sturdy, thick branch, and unbolted the engine and pulled it out. When I tried to put the clutch in, I didn’t know I had to have the clutch alignment tool (the manual said it made the job easier, it didn’t say it was mandatory for a fool like me) so I had to borrow my dad’s car and drive 20 miles back to the Import Auto Parts store, buy a tool I would probably never use again.

But I could not get the engine to mate up. I tried with increasing futility over the course of that weekend, working early in the morning and late into the night because I had to have the car running for Monday morning to go to work.

At one point, I was standing with two feet on the engine block, holding onto the chain trying to maneuver the engine, then get underneath the car to do some step to make it work, and it just wouldn’t go in. It had begun pouring rain, and even though I was wearing my green one piece Navy mechanic coveralls, I was covered in mud, soaked through, miserable, and doing all this five feet from a busy road with cars going by.

I had no resource to turn to for help, the Internet and YouTube weren’t yet invented, and the Chilton’s manual was wonderfully vague and imprecise to someone who had never done the job before.

So, in desperation, I decided to ask the guys at the Import Auto Part store. When I described the problem, the guy said he would double-check the part to make sure it was the right one, and he came back with a new clutch pad and laid it on the counter. He said when looking at it, that the one they sold me had been returned for some unknown reason by another customer.

The new one went right in like butter. Something was clearly wrong with the first clutch pad!

[Blood of Tyrants]

The timing belts are a kevlar fiber, rubber ix. They are very durable. More durable than a steel timing chain. It should easily last 200,000 miles.

[mabarker1]

Well, that depends. With The Prince of Darkness they use a Non-Linear Scale based on the Chronological Age vs the Industrial Age of the Part in question. Also called The Ticky-Tocky Index.

Then the second factor is run off of The Bakelite vs Zytel PA66FR Non-conductive Materials Index. (Not to be confused with the Waffle House Index)

And finally the difference between The early style Domestic Can Tab material vs the later style Bronzass material used in the actual Electrical Contacts in the Switch known as The it might be Conductive Index.

Determining the Quality of Lucas Wiring Harness Replacement Smoke:

Here is the Calculation Matrix Tool

After invoking the Answer from the Calculation Matrix Tool into the following Formula, using the Answer in the place of "cmt":

3.141592653589793*2^-10/721.1961+cmt=x

By the time You reach Your final calculation You will find it no longer matters because the Lucas Part #530433 has all leaked out due to a bad seal on the Jar.

We Thank You for purchasing LUCAS Parts and have a nice day.

[mabarker1]

Aaaahhh yes, the younger years.

The Fuel Pumps were made by The LOWEST BIDDER. Junk right out of the box.

The problem with the Clutch Disk was the 1500 engine uses a different one than the early models. Same O.D. but the Spline is different on the early ones.

[21twelve]

“More durable than a steel timing chain. It should easily last 200,000 miles.”

We bought it used, and the timing belt was changed once by the previous owner at 115,000 miles. (I thought it was every 60,000.) Lots of folks on the various forums agreed with you, others thought 150,000 miles was living on borrowed time.

Now you got me wondering about the steel timing chains in my other vehicles! Boy - thanks a lot!! ;)

[Chode]

LOL!!! dear God...

[mabarker1]

Ya like that one ? Lil' Buddy helped Me on that 😎

[rlmorel]

Holy smokes...you DO remember all that stuff!

I really enjoyed a trip down memory lane there. I did find two pictures of my MG, but it was before I did all the work on it.

I have no idea why I let these kids into my car!

[Rebelbase]

A buddy of mine in college had a ‘74 MG Midget. It seemed he worked on it as much as he drove it.