I once knew a young couple who had a modest wedding paid for by her parents. It came to 7grand. Shortly after the wedding, the young man went into the military as was the plan prior to the wedding. He did the ‘right’ thing and had a portion of his pay sent to his new wife. He also received a 10 grand sign on bonus which he sent to his wife to put in the bank.
When he returned home after a fashion, he expected to use the saved monies for a down payment on a house. But much to his chagrin, he discovered that his wife gave all that money to her parents..for the wedding that he was allowed no input on.
That marriage didn’t last very long.
There are a lot of ugly wedding stories out there.
When my late husband and I married 38 years ago, we couldn’t afford much. It was a multiplearriage for both of is so we had a quiet ceremony in our small church with my children and immediate family present. Later that evening, we had our reception at our favorite restaurant/lounge. They always had a band, and you could eat a full meal in the lounge. We told our guests before hand that they would have to pay for their own drinks bit we never said anything about the meal. They expected to pay for their own food. So when the evening reached the point where it was time for my new husband and I to depart, he quietly paid for all the food, and for our drinks.
When the guests received their share of the tab, they were shocked and delighted to learn that their food was paid in advance. They were delightfully surprised. And we all had a good time.
It’s amazing to me that people spend enough on weddings to put a nice payment down on a house ;-)
We eloped. We didn’t have much money, most of our friends and family were scattered far across the country; and we didn’t want to deal with the fuss.
We bought nice clothes and rings, went to the court house, and later family and friends gave us a nice luncheon. We have lots of good memories, as I’m sure you do - none of stress or unpleasantness. What we did is certainly not right for everyone - weddings are often very important to families. But it was right for us.