"...Childless". Oh, we believe you!
Posted on 07/10/2018 12:17:25 PM PDT by Simon Green
A few months before my 42nd birthday, I was out to dinner with friends and found myself seated next to a well-known older male writer.
I happened to be in the final stages of finishing a proposal for a memoir about being a single woman over 40 without children, and was inwardly marveling at the timing of our encounter. I was a fan of his. Perhaps he might offer some wisdom? Words of encouragement?
As drinks were delivered I sketched the outline of the story: No one had prepared me for how exhilarating life could be on my own. I was traveling all the time, doing what I wanted, when I wanted, released from the fear of the clock that had dogged me through my 30s. Conversely, no one had warned me of the ways in which it would actually be difficult; my mother had been very ill, for instance, and part of the book was about caring for her.
No sooner had I finished than the famous writer placed his glass firmly on the white tablecloth, leaned back and declared: “Glynnis MacNicol, you have a terrible life!”
Not exactly the feedback I was hoping for.
He continued: “You’re all alone in the world, and have no one to help you.” He turned to my friends, dramatically interrupting their conversation. “Do you know how terrible this woman’s life is? She’s all by herself!”
My friends managed to snort back their drinks, barely. “But I’m fine,” I protested lightheartedly, hoping to return the discussion to writing. “I’m quite enjoying myself.”
He took a disbelieving sip of his drink. “I want to help you,” he said. He then instructed our server to wrap up his untouched steak and insisted I take it home.
(Excerpt) Read more at nytimes.com ...
“I’ve seen her picture. I know why she is alone.”
—
So it’s all about looks,is it?
.
My brother and his wife never had kids, always said that neither of them wanted any, they were always too busy with their careers and hobbies. However now that both have recently hit the big 60, it has hit them that they aren’t going to live forever, they will die and leave their possession to a distant relative they hardly know. For the first time ever I recently heard by brother say he regrets that they never had kids...
Methinks she doth protest too much.
And to write about some a-hole being mean to her at dinner only serves to make me think she may not be as happy as she thinks.
I believe her that she is quite happy now. The problem will come when she is aging alone in the world and it will be too late to unmake the choices she's making now.
That said, there are many situations where assumptions are made but not meant to cause offense. For example, Mother's Day was a couple months ago and a friend of mine got offended that she was wished a happy Mother's Day when she hadn't had any children. The person wishing her happy Mother's Day was just trying to be polite.
People need to learn not to take offense when no offense is intended.
I don’t believe her. If she didn’t care what people thought about her, she wouldn’t be writing articles about it.
I believe they can be ‘happy’, but they’ll eventually regret it if they finally grow up to be an adult and realize that our children are the only real legacy we leave behind.
The childless will die and within a short time, nobody will remember them or anything about their ‘happy life’.
I’m also skeptical of anyone who feels the need to write a book or article about how happy they are. Sounds to me like she’s trying too hard to convince herself that she’s happy.
Neither a big family nor childfree is for everybody. I know some incredibly happy folks with lots of kids, I know some quite happy folks with none. There really isn’t anything that is LESS the business of other people.
At least she has alcohol to keep her company.
“If she didn’t care what people thought about her, she wouldn’t be writing articles about it.”
—
Sure she would if her writing pays the rent.
.
Maybe the famous male writer was trying to hit on her in a strange, alpha-male kind of way. I can picture this as a scene in a movie.
That pretty much goes without saying ...
Why do you feel the need to convince other people?
My house in California, the house in Montana and the savings are all going to dog rescues the specialize in American Bulldogs and/or pitties. That an a hundred large or so for the Macaw.
She does sound like she feels the need to convince people she’s really, really happy. I’ve never married, never had children, never wanted either, am very happy with my life, and don’t see any need to justify my decision. My sister has been married for over 20 years, has three great kids, a wonderful and supportive husband, is very happy with her life as well, and so far as I know doesn’t see the need to justify her life either.
LOL. I’ve been married for 30 years or as I like to call it ‘10 wonderful years’. My anniversary present to her this year was to stop referring to her in public as ‘my first wife’.
I am 46, single, never been married and have no children. I consider myself content.
However, I often wonder if I missed out and I do worry about being old and alone.
But no woman has come.along that is willing to be with me. With my luck, when one comes along she will be a hard core leftist. No thanks!
>Why Won’t Anyone Believe Me?
1) The article is in the NYT
so
2) I assume you are liberal
and that means
3) You cannot be happy
Her kids (or lack of kids) have nothing to do with it. Liberals have a weird condition
* they’re optimistic - just “pass a law” and the world will be great.
while at the same time
* they’re pessimistic - the world sucks (no matter what laws have passed recently).
Even if the latest law does exactly what they wanted and fixed their main issue, they’ll find another issue to be unhappy about. And pessimism Trumps optimism in their life.
You cannot be liberal and happy.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.