“And guys don’t lie about being raped or sexually harassed by other guys.”
I’ve always thought that the “Pence Rule” was primarily about that. (As was Billy Graham’s before him.) Perhaps some of it was to curb actual lust, but primarily to avoid the perception of wrong-doing (”What was she doing in there with Dr. Graham for an hour with the door closed!!??”). And I think in today’s world to avoid any false accusations.
I’ve been in numerous small-group Bible studies with women in them. Of course, we were mostly all married couples, but they became “friends” in the context of those weekly studies in our various homes and in church. Of course it never dawned on me to meet up with one of the women for drinks after work. (Well - actually we did a few times - with my wife and as a group before going out for some other function.)
The “Billy Graham” rule (developed in the late 1940s) was NOT merely about sex, but about integrity in life and ministry in general.
Sometimes called the “Modesto Manifesto,” Graham and his ministry partners (his preaching was just part of the whole Crusade ministry) all agreed on four points:
1) Money: Evangelists before him existed on the collections they took—and hence were tempted to make very emotional appeals, and play to big crowds....just to get more money. Graham and associates also made their living from collections—but agreed to each be on a fixed salary—and to uphold the highest standards of financial accountability in the organization—to avoid the shady “Elmer Gantry” type corruption others in ministry had been known for.....
2) Sexual: “We all knew of evangelists who had fallen into immorality while separated from their families by travel. We pledged among ourselves to avoid any situation that would have even the appearance of compromise or suspicion. From that day on, I did not travel, meet or eat alone with a woman other than my wife. We determined that the Apostle Paul’s mandate to the young pastor Timothy would be ours as well: “Flee … youthful lusts” (2 Timothy 1:22, KJV).” (from the BillyGraham.org website)
3)”Our third concern was the tendency of many evangelists to carry on their work apart from the local church, even to criticize local pastors and churches openly and scathingly. We were convinced, however, that this was not only counterproductive but also wrong from the Bible’s standpoint. We determined to cooperate with all who would cooperate with us in the public proclamation of the Gospel, and to avoid an antichurch or anticlergy attitude.”
4) “The fourth and final issue was publicity. The tendency among some evangelists was to exaggerate their successes or to claim higher attendance numbers than they really had. This likewise discredited evangelism and brought the whole enterprise under suspicion. It often made the press so suspicious of evangelists that they refused to take notice of their work. In Modesto we committed ourselves to integrity in our publicity and our reporting.”
As you can see, Graham wasn’t hung up on sex—he just wanted to maintain his integrity....which, by every account, against a LOT of odds (esp. with his huge successes!), he did, magnificently.
It’s really hard to argue with one of the greatest Christian evangelists in history on how to maintain integrity.