All for "inclusive," raise your hand.
Posted on 05/29/2018 8:24:53 AM PDT by Prov1322
DUBLIN, IRELAND—In a heartfelt announcement Tuesday, U2 frontman Bono confirmed he would resume pretending to be a Christian after the official U2 account voiced support for the recent repeal of the Eighth Amendment in Ireland, which had prevented women from having abortions in the country.
The legendary musician had temporarily set aside his claimed Christianity during the campaign to repeal Ireland’s strict abortion restrictions, but confirmed he would be ending his hiatus from Christian values now that the measure has passed. The rock star reportedly feared losing U2’s large Christian fanbase and the adoration of worship leaders everywhere, but was able to assuage the concerns of these groups with his announcement.
“Now that the Eighth Amendment has been repealed, rest assured that I will continue to make vaguely Christian references in my interviews and music,” he said. “While I set aside my faith for a few weeks there to make sure that abortion would take over the once deeply religious nation of Ireland, I’m back and more passionate about Jesus and faith and love and stuff than ever.”
“Just, like, coexist, man,” he added.
As part of a good faith effort to win back his Christian fans, Bono further announced that U2 would be offering on its website a download of helpful chord charts that worship guitarists may use to “lightly sprinkle” the band’s riffs throughout any modern worship song.
At publishing time, Bono had confirmed that he still reserved the right to embrace literally any progressive position at any time, after which he would resume claiming the name of Jesus in his concerts and public statements.
Was just thinking about the irony that women were the driving force for prohibition - essentially taking away the right of adults to choose whether or not to drink alcohol, but are also driving the ‘woman’s right to choose’ movement with regards abortion.
Babylon Bee - They may be bad but they’re so good!
I was never ashamed of being Irish until Saturday.
Youve never noticed their far left hate for the US before? I went to a wedding in Ireland a few years back and left 3 days early. Never to return.
Jesus: “Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’
After all, you don’t have to worry about starving children if you kill them before they’re born!
I saw a quote in the newspaper from a happy Irish woman after Ireland decided it was OK to murder babies. She said something like: “This law is so important. This is our gift to the next generation.”
Ummmmmm. What?!?
All for "inclusive," raise your hand.
Going to Hell with their satanic ways of life. Bono is a turd! I haven’t bought one of their albums for years! What a disgrace for him to call himself a Christian!
You know a tree by the fruit it produces.
My brother married into a Irish expat family. They claim that after Ireland joined the EU morals and values there headed straight down the crapper.
Yep.
I’m normally not into satire, but these guys are as good as the Onion. Maybe better.
And, he’s gonna give the Dalai Lama a big hug!
Bono the Baby Butcher!
Whore
The ability to slaughter them legally is your gift to them?
How demonic is that?
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