https://www.amazon.com/Char-Griller-16620-Kamado-Charcoal-Barbecue/dp/B00GJEPTJS
Hands down. That is for BBQ. 20 hr Brisket, not a problem.
Add this if you don’t enjoy tending it.
https://pitmasteriq.com/collections/automatic-temperature-control/products/iq110?variant=4441087429
Set it to 3 for cfm’s.
Ask your wife which pot she hates. Break the handle off. 4 to 5 Qt is perfect. Fill it with sand or gravel or heck mine is filled with rock salt. Split a brick. Place the pot at the center of the coal grate and use the brick to provide a fire break. Sprinkle your hardwood lump all around the perimeter. Sprinkle your fruit or nut wood of choice around the 1st 1/3 of the charcoal. Light with Webber grill lighting pellet right by the brick. The fire will slowly snake all the way around your pot for hrs and hrs and hrs.
For grilling, an Aussie Grill. If you don’t know how to grill turn in your man card. ;-)
Could you.. uh.. sketch that pot/split brick(?)/charcoal ring for us?