I know of two similar cases where the kids (in their 40’s) are just plain worthless. Too worthless to figure out how to get on some government welfare system. They leach off their parents for everything including food, rent, health care, pot, booze, dental - you name it.
One case a guy is retired and so far in debt over this he will be in debt until he dies. The other case the parents did go broke and now the kids just hate them.
I can’t see how a parent can find themselves in such a pathetic situation.
I can. It comes from bad parenting and starts once the child starts to walk and talk. Instead of being a Parent these people try to be the kid's friend.
They don't want conflict or the kid to be angry at them so they give them everything it wants. By the time that kid is 8-10 years old his value system is set. Unless an MAJOR shake up takes place.
I told mine at the earliest age, my job is not to be your friend. It's to raise you to be a respectable, self reliant Adult that can and will be a productive member of Society.
I have something similar in my family. My sis married a a dude here on a visa. He kept saying that he’ll get a job when he gets his green card. Green card arrives - no job. He doesn’t do anything in the apt, no cleaning, no cooking, no shopping. He stays at home all day and is on his very expensive computer. When my sis is sick, she’s on her own, he doesn’t help her get well. She says it’s not his place to do that. He’s got her brainwashed. They live in a $4K apartment and pay no rent. Meanwhile, I just found out my sis who took over my mother’s finances, has been embezzling and is deeply in debt... yet has multiple CDs and loans. It’s insane.
Recently driving back home from visiting mom, I heard a show on coast to coast about narcisistic predators.The guy described my sis and her husband to a T. Parasites. Now I understand why I ran away from home.
My mom and I are considering going to family court to have them evicted. Thus I am very happy that this couple won. My heart goes out to them for all they’ve been through.
Kids fall on hard times, parents try to help, give them some time to recover, the kids get lazy and repay the parents with becoming derelicts.
We have a little of the ‘old country’ (Italy) in us where the extended family is still somewhat normative. However, the ethic always was that you carry your weight and support the household and eventually get married and have your own family. If you didn’t, peer pressure from the many siblings and cousins (in the old days) would drive you to taking some action. I’ve heard, though, that even in Italy, this has become a problem.
Going back 15 years, we had a Priest tell us we had done enough - it was time to evict them. Didn’t need court help, though.
Every now and then when medical bills pile up, we throw some help their way. It’s not our money after all, it’s a gift from the very good Lord.