I’m very sorry.
There are a few recipes that I have memorized, but even with those I have somewhere the written one - even if it’s just a bookmark in a cookbook. I hope you find it.
When my Grandmother was dying, which took place over a long period, my brother realized that we hadn’t gotten Granny’s recipe for her Chicken Pie. Her mind was going in and out toward the end, but she was not in pain and we could sit and talk with her. One day, Brother decided to try and get the recipe, so he asked her how to make chicken pie.
Granny said: “Well, first you get a chicken, and you take all the feathers off.”
My Granny was born in 1890, and she was remembering way back, to the time when she first learned to make chicken pie - and plucking the chicken was simply how one started, back then ;-)
They did it all by wrote.
They think they write down recipes, but they leave out HUGE things that they think everyone knows.
You have to cook with them to get it.