Posted on 04/20/2018 5:32:53 AM PDT by JockoManning
Second mistake this year.
You do know you can go to the mistake exchange and buy error credits from those of us who never make mistakes. We have surplus error credits banked from past years of mistake free living. That way, when you use up your allotted three annual mistakes, you can merely purchase more on the Error Exchange so you can continue going through life free from worry about those little oopsies that plague the error prone "Imperfects," as we perfect people call you, our customers.
You can buy Error Credits singly, which have a one-month use-by expiration, or you can get a discounted six pack Boo-boo pack with a one year expiration. However, our best deal is the Fumble-Fingers case lot of 24 Error Credits, which last a full five years of mistakes, forgetfulness, lost keys, misspellings, can’t remember good-old what’s her name, and forgotten promises. If you buy today, we’ll toss in a six pack of special "Oops, I forgot your birthday, anniversary, or other special day" with no expiration and a lifetime guaranteed to work every time you slip up and forget to bring home a special remembrance!
Call now for pricing! Don’t be caught without that all important mistake credit on hand when you need the sympathy. . .
ERROR CREDITS R US *
* A subsidiary of Carbon Credits R Us
(A bagster Al Gore Enterprises Company){JM edited}
1,600 posted on 4/20/2018, 2:59:09 AM by Swordmaker (My pistol self-identifies as an iPad, so you must accept it in gun-free zones, you hoplaphobe bigot!)
So far, this one has my vote. And that's even without the pics. Too frikken funny.
Umm...spork weasel.
I still laugh about that post. Laz posts a pic of some weird foreign devil with tattoos and metal stuff sticking out of his skin all over his body and makes some joke about him being a human Christmas tree.
This guy posts to him, "Is this your way of making fun of Christmas and Christians?"
And he was completely SERIOUS!!!!
Me and Larry Lucido bonded over that post. And now we are brothers forever and ever amen.
THANKS for your contributions.
I’d forgotten about that. Thanks.
Not my priority. May not be doable.
Thanks for your contributions.
ALL CONTRIBUTORS--THANKS IN ADVANCE. I don't want to clutter up the thread with thank you posts. Just know all contributions in good faith are appreciated.
PIV is always rape is my nominee.
Don’t recall what PIV is.
My wife and I were concerned that our children would miss out on the socialization available in the public schools; so once a week we take our kids into the bathroom, cuss at them, push them around, steal their lunch money and offer them drugs, and that seems to take care of it. —FReeper Oberon
Look it up here. I’d shoot you a link but I’m on a tablet not a computer. It will amaze you.
LOLOLOLOL.
Guess I’m dating myself ... I can recall the day when having sex meant that and only that.
Lazs History of Free Republic, wherever it is.
Is there any consensus about that? Didn’t seem to be in the urban dictionary—not in that direction, at least.
“6.2 Similarly, Please avoid pinging others to this thread by posting a ping hereon”
Isn’t a Ping Hereon actually a Pink Flamingo?
Cute. Finally got it.
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