[No_Doll_i]

Some turtles can be VERY cool mister!!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ancient_and_Honorable_Order_of_Turtles

[defconw]

If you insist on being a turtle! Be a ninja turtle! I like anything but anchovies on my pizza and yes you are buying!

There is a new Q for today, I think? All this talk of food and turtles and impalers and it's my Friday and well I am tired and distracted at the same time. Client is out of coffee. Not very strong, more akin to tea really. ......... squirrel...

[bagster]

Turtles own a diabetic donkey, or one of a sweet and kindly disposition; therefore once inducted, a member must reply to the question "Are you a Turtle?" with "You bet your sweet ass I am."[1][3] If the member is unable or unwilling (perhaps because of a social restriction on vulgarity) to provide the correct answer, he or she owes to each other turtle present a drink of the recipient's choice.

Fine. That is kinda cool. But can we compromise? Can you at least be a Ninja Turtle? They are way more cooler than the eating bug kind.

We can call you, Nodollatello.

(really hoping you get the reference here. It's essential. If you must, google Ninja turtle names.)