Turtles own a diabetic donkey, or one of a sweet and kindly disposition; therefore once inducted, a member must reply to the question "Are you a Turtle?" with "You bet your sweet ass I am."[1][3] If the member is unable or unwilling (perhaps because of a social restriction on vulgarity) to provide the correct answer, he or she owes to each other turtle present a drink of the recipient's choice. Fine. That is kinda cool. But can we compromise? Can you at least be a Ninja Turtle? They are way more cooler than the eating bug kind.
We can call you, Nodollatello.
(really hoping you get the reference here. It's essential. If you must, google Ninja turtle names.)