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Marriage Proposals Are Stupid
The Atlantic ^ | March 23, 2018 | Carolione Kitchner

Posted on 03/27/2018 6:18:53 AM PDT by C19fan

The marriage proposal is one of the most ritualized moments in modern American life. Growing up, many girls are instilled with a specific idea of how it should go: He’ll take us somewhere romantic—we’ll have no idea what’s happening—he’ll get down on one knee—we’ll start crying—he’ll pop the question—we’ll immediately say yes. It should be magical.

But for a lot of heterosexual couples, the proposal—as movies portray it, as many millennial women have internalized it—doesn’t reflect the kind of modern, egalitarian relationships many women want today. Whom to marry is among the most important decisions most people will ever make in their lives, and yet it’s not a choice made in the course of a conversation—the normal way two grown humans make big life decisions. Instead, it has to be a show, with a prefixed grand finale: “yes.”

(Excerpt) Read more at theatlantic.com ...


TOPICS: Society
KEYWORDS: marriage
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To: C19fan

doesn’t reflect the kind of modern, egalitarian relationships many women want today
translation: I was not romantically proposed to, so... sour grapes!

As a woman who owns all her own power tools, wears high heels when I go out to dinner, I loved when my now husband (of 25 years) proposed to me! Oh, I also made sure he voted for Trump!


41 posted on 03/27/2018 6:52:57 AM PDT by small farm girl (....)
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To: Mrs. Don-o

I still got two out of three.


42 posted on 03/27/2018 6:53:16 AM PDT by PGR88
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To: Mrs. Don-o
Degree in history and gender studies, Princeton, 3 years ago. Daddy got her a job at the Atlantic.

Classic who you know, rather than what you know.

I wouldn't with someone else's ten foot pole. I've found that you should never hook up with anyone dumber and crazier than you are...

43 posted on 03/27/2018 6:54:43 AM PDT by jonascord (First rule of the Dunning-Kruger Club is that you do not know you are in the Dunning-Kruger club.)
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To: jagusafr
It was my second marriage, first wife died after 21 years (cancer) and my fiancee' was over 30 .....

Her father looked at me like I was a jerk and said (I have to believe my Filipina wife translated correctly because I had NO idea except for the look on his face ... which matched the words .. )

She's old enough to make up her own mind.

Thanks, Papa.

44 posted on 03/27/2018 6:55:21 AM PDT by knarf (I say things that are true, I have no proof, but they're true)
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To: Dr. Sivana

Oh, then I would go for the Lean movie. Martita Hunt is deeply creepy as Miss H and the set decoration is especially creepy.


45 posted on 03/27/2018 6:55:56 AM PDT by miss marmelstein
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To: jonascord

Good point!


46 posted on 03/27/2018 6:55:57 AM PDT by Mrs. Don-o (Stone cold sober, as a matter of fact.)
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To: jeffc
I didn’t click the link (The Atlantic?), but I will assume the author has never been proposed to....

*************

According to an author interview:

Caroline Kitchener graduated from Princeton in 2014 with a degree in History and Gender and Sexuality Studies. She lives in Washington, DC with her partner and her two cats.

47 posted on 03/27/2018 6:56:13 AM PDT by Starboard
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To: miss marmelstein

I believe that was Jean Simmons first major role. I wish she would say “Boy” to me. :) Add Alec Guinness starting his long collaboration with David Lean.


48 posted on 03/27/2018 7:00:17 AM PDT by C19fan
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although it isnt quite what is was or should be, 26 years after proposing to my wife in the kitchen as we cooked pork chops for dinner....we are still here....


49 posted on 03/27/2018 7:04:02 AM PDT by raygunfan
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To: C19fan

Feminist:Fat, manless, and hairy-legged.

Apologies to Bloom County.


50 posted on 03/27/2018 7:05:15 AM PDT by CodeToad (The Democrats haven't been this pissed off since the Republicans took their slaves away.)
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To: C19fan

Yes, the beautiful and vulnerable Jean Simmons. One of my favorite actresses. Alec Guinness and John Mills, too. We just watched Alec Guinness in Lean’s Passage to India. One of my favorite of Lean’s movies.


51 posted on 03/27/2018 7:05:30 AM PDT by miss marmelstein
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To: C19fan
We had sized the rings but she didn't know they were ready. So I secretly picked them up and arranged for dinner. I was trying to contact the mariachi band and finally got a hold of them to ask Frank if he could come over and back me up singing "You Send Me."

That song had the lyrics Now I find myself wanting to... marry you and take you home, whoa… which would be a perfect time to pull out the ring. Frank said "Sure, come on in and we'll practice."

"No," I replied, "I've run out of time. We'll be there in an hour." It was great. The band came over and asked "Would you like to sing?" They backed me up vocally, too. She was thinking "Why did they ask him to sing? And that's not a Mexican song!" Frank was a little in the way so I had to shove past him to get down on one knee, but it was all good.

Well, she said yes and it's been a great 4.5 years so far!
52 posted on 03/27/2018 7:05:55 AM PDT by \/\/ayne (I regret that I have but one subscription cancellation notice to give to my local newspaper.)
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To: C19fan
I bet she is a bitter old cat lady. The boat sailed without her.
 
53 posted on 03/27/2018 7:05:55 AM PDT by Governor Dinwiddie (CNN is fake news.)
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To: C19fan

Have you ever seen those live proposals at sporting events, like a dude proposing before the cameras at a football game, with everyone there watching on the Jumbotron, and millions at home? And then she says “NO!”

Totally cringe-worthy.

It’s not uncommon.

Here are some, for your watching pleasure:

https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=live%20proposals%20at%20sporting%20events%20and%20she%20says%20no&qs=n&form=QBVR&sp=-1&pq=live%20proposals%20at%20sporting%20events%20and%20she%20says%20no&sc=0-49&sk=&cvid=9C6188D7D2254BA4AA047E8D24ABDB19


54 posted on 03/27/2018 7:06:03 AM PDT by Alas Babylon! (Keep fighting the Left and their Fake News!)
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To: C19fan
and yet it’s not a choice made in the course of a conversation

**************

During courtship (now there's a quaint word for ya) everyone is on their best behavior. Politeness, sensitivities, and promises exchanged while dating are a long way from real world realities and the daily challenges of marriage. While talking about something may be beneficial, its a long way from living it. A conversation, even multiple ones, are no guarantee of marital success.

The Left loves "conversations" and believes they pave the way for mutual understanding. But in reality, liberals only want to manipulate "conversations" so they can get their own way. They don't compromise, which is perhaps the keystone of a good marriage.

How typical this article is. Another sanctimonious liberal telling others how to live their lives.

55 posted on 03/27/2018 7:08:44 AM PDT by Starboard
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To: DugwayDuke

My proposal was that my orders had come in and that I was being posted to Georgia to be followed by Aberdeen Proving Ground after nine months.
If she wanted to come with me we would have to be married.

In October we will have thirty years since the wedding.

It seemed unromantic at the time, but it worked out.


56 posted on 03/27/2018 7:10:23 AM PDT by MrEdd (Caveat Emptor)
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To: \/\/ayne

Great story! Best wishes for many happy years together.


57 posted on 03/27/2018 7:10:36 AM PDT by Starboard
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To: C19fan
doesn’t reflect the kind of modern, egalitarian relationships many women want today

Stopped reading right there.

The author is the type of woman that causes men to refrain from marriage, or seek a bride from another, less "feminist" culture.

58 posted on 03/27/2018 7:18:29 AM PDT by clee1 (We use 43 muscles to frown, 17 to smile, and 2 to pull a trigger. I'm lazy and I'm tired of smiling.)
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To: jonascord
Degree in history and gender studies, Princeton, 3 years ago.

******************

A fountain of knowledge and wisdom. /sarc

59 posted on 03/27/2018 7:25:52 AM PDT by Starboard
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To: C19fan
Attention whores bitch about everything. It pays well.

60 posted on 03/27/2018 7:26:12 AM PDT by Right Wing Assault (Kill: google,TWITTER,FACEBOOK,Hollywood,CNN,NFL,BLM,CAIR,Antifa,SPLC,ESPN,NPR,NBA)
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