I should have realized earlier in my “marriage” that when my wife said to a bunch of friends and relatives, “Just withhold sex” to make your husband comply, I should’ve ended it right there.
It took me another 20 years before I fully understood the human behind that statement could not be lived with.
It happened in our marriage year 4 and it took me to year 8 (I became a Christian and began to really study the Bible year 2) to figure out the sexual unfaithfulness bit. When I showed Mrs. BCC and our pastor what I figured out, THEN we got our marriage straightened out.
Amazingly, our Pastor then, great guy and wonderful mentor, hadn’t seen that type of behavior as sexual unfaithfulness until I gave him my explanation. Seems simple to me, 1 Cor 7:5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. NIV Her decision that we were not going to make love was not “mutual consent”, and she was leaving the both of us weaker to Satan’s temptation to find someone else attractive. Fortunately neither of us buckled from the temptation and the marriage was salvaged. We’re in 31+ years now.
Sorry your situation totally failed Brother.