I tell ya. Its an ongoing thing that only the death of one or the other can fix. And then the friggan stories always come up if there is a spat.
my wife couldn’t handle that I left and didn’t want to live with her anymore. Her psych had her come to me and read me all the things she didn’t like about me. I wondered, WTF why didn’t you leave me then. LOL. But I bit my tongue because I knew it was something she had to do. The lies to my kids were vicious and it was a good thing they were adults.