Posted on 01/22/2018 10:53:42 AM PST by Lazamataz
I intercepted a note from a combatant in the government shutdown. I shall publish it here:
Dear Wife,
I take my pen in hand, during this Damnable Goverment Shutdown, to inform you that I am well at present and hope these few lines may find you all enjoying the same blessing.
Tis hard to see the mighty prancing Democrat Congress, trampling the dying veterans and children beneath their merciless feet. No dear wife, near to speak a word of comfort. No living sister or Mother to administer relief in that hour the most sad in the history of humanity. O the humanity. O the horrors of Government Shutdown. Truly it may be considered the most cruel and awful scourge which can befall a nation. Heaven grant there may be an end soon.
The days after the Government shutdown are a thousand times worse than the days of the Shutdown itself – and the physical pain is not the greatest pain suffered. How awful it is - you have not can have until you see it any idea of affairs after a Government Shutdown. The Federal Contractors appear sickening but they suffer no pain. But the poor wounded Government full-time employees that yet have life and sensation make a most horrid picture. I pray God may stop such infernal work - through perhaps he has sent it upon us for our sins. Great indeed must have been our sins if such is our punishment.
I must close for fear I do not get to send my letter off, for the Postal Service -- being Federal -- may be impacted by the shutdown. Write offten I will get them some time. I will write every chance, do not be uneasy when you do not get letters, for when we are scouting around as we have been it is impossible to write or to send them off if we did write. Give my love to the old Lady and all the friends. My love and a thousand kisses to my own sweet Amanda and our little boys.
Your Devoted Husband"
Lol!
It’s been tough out West as well. I asked the gang around the wood stove at the feed store today what they thought of the government shutdown and they looked sort of puzzled and said, “which government? Our government?” Which just goes to show you how traumatic the thing has been - those poor fellows stricken by amnesia and the scar tissue grown thick over the gaping wounds of the lack of paternal guidance from DC. Added to the broken, listless ennui and the enervation is an additional problem. One of them sez, “Don’t give a crap.” Yep. Constipation. They’ll be selling FDA-approved bran muffins for silver bars pretty soon around here. I had no idea it would be this bad.
How melodramatic. Offten is correctly written “often.”
Offten means, Off-ten. Not quite ten. Nine.
These are great!
Not sure if that falls into this category but American English spelling was still in the process of being standardized at that time.
By “at that time” I mean the civil war era, from which the letter this satirizes derives (Sullivan Ballou?).
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