Posted on 12/22/2017 9:40:21 AM PST by sodpoodle
Guessing he was hoping for she can’t talk for three weeks.
time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana (author unknown)
You are a brave man.
1. Bleached Yule = White Christmas
2. Castaneous-colored Seed Vesicated in a Conflagration = Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire
3. Singular Yearning for the Twin Anterior Incisors = All I want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth
4. Righteous Darkness = O Holy Night
5. Arrival Time2400 hrs - WeatherCloudless = It Came Upon the Midnight Clear
6. Loyal Followers Advance = Onward, Christian Soldiers
7. Far Off in a Feeder = Away in a Manger
8. Array the Corridor = Deck the Halls
9. Bantam Male Percussionist = Little Drummer Boy
10. Monarchial Triad = We Three Kings
11. Nocturnal Noiselessness = Silent Night
12. Jehovah Deactivate Blithe Chevaliers = God Rest ye Merry Gentlemen
13. Red Man En Route to Borough = Santa Claus is Coming to Town
14. Frozen Precipitation Commence = Let it Snow
15. Proceed and Enlighten on the Pinnacle = Go Tell it on the Mountain
16. The Quadruped with the Vermillion Probiscis = Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.
17. Query Regarding Identity of Descendant = What Child is This
18. Delight for this Planet = Joy to the World
19. Give Attention to the Melodious Celestial Beings = Hark, the Herald Angels Sing
20. The Dozen Festive 24 Hour Intervals = The Twelve Days of Christmas
1. White Christmas
2.
3. All I want for Christmas (Is My Two Front Teeth)
4.
5. It Came Upon a Midnight Clear
6.
7. Away in a Manger
8.
9.
10. We Three Kings
11. Silent Night
12.
13. Santa Claus is Coming To Town
14. Let It Snow!
15.
16. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
17.
18. Joy To The World
19. Hark! The Herald Angels Sing
20. The Twelve Days of Christmas
That was fun! Gotta think on the blanks I left, though...
And this is...?
A Partridge in a Pear Tree!
That's quite clever. Must have been a fake blonde.
Hate to be indelicate, but the joke refers to oral sex.
(Not as funny, but certainly wiser.)
If it ain't broke, don't fix it..........
The bookkeeper: This ended very badly for our side, in my opinion. The prosecutor strongly encouraged my boss that he agree for her to go through a “diversion program”, during which she would make restitution, and after some years, the charges would be deleted from her record. I think she MAY have spent one night in jail.
Which would have been all good and well, except that she took him to court a few years later to try to have the monthly payments reduced or discharged in a bankruptcy, and again tried to make a case that she was, more or less, entitled to the over $100,000 that she stole, due to a list including she didn’t think she was paid well enough, our health insurance didn’t cover enough, other lies. At that point, we wished we had pressed criminal charges and sent her to prison. Last I knew, she was still paying back a couple hundred dollars a month, probably for the rest of her life.
Q. Where does Old St. Nick hang his clothes?
A. The Santa Closet.
Good one poodle.
Black holes:
What you get in black socks.
If you’re not part of the solution....you’re part of the precipitate.
I take it your talking about SJW ‘snowflakes’.
________________________________________________________
I hadn’t thought of that. Makes sense, thanks.
Awesome.
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