Posted on 12/18/2017 1:37:42 PM PST by sodpoodle
A professor at Wayne State University in Detroit was giving a lecture on Paranormal Studies. To get a feel for his audience, he asks, “How many people here believe in ghosts?” About 90 students raise their hands. “Well, that’s a good start. Out of those who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?” About 40 students raise their hands. “That’s really good. I’m really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?” About 15 students raise their hand. “Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?” Three students raise their hands. “That’s fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further...Have any of you ever made love with a ghost?” Way in the back, Hamad raises his hand. The professor takes off his glasses and says, “Son, in all the years I’ve been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You’ve got to come up here and tell us about your experience.” The Middle Eastern student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium. When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, “So, Hamad , tell us what it’s like to have sex with a ghost?” Hamad replied, “Shit, from way back there I thought you said Goats.”
ping
I was standing at the bar in the Airport when this small Chinese Guy comes in, stands next to me, and starts drinking a beer.
I asked him, “Do you know any of those martial arts things, like Kung-Fu Karate, or Ju-Jitsu?”
He says “No, I don’t. And furthermore, why the hell would you ask me That? Is it because I’m Chinese?”
“No”, I said, “It’s because you’re drinking my beer, you little prick”.
“...small Chinese Guy comes in...”
That’s lacist!
Preacher — How many people like sin?
Little old lady stands up.
Preacher — Mrs Farkle, you like sin?
Mrs Farkle — Oh, sorry, I thought you said, ‘gin.’
True story. My cousin many years ago came back for an R AND R from Korea as he’s stationed near the DMZ. It was 1 year right after the Iraq War invasion and he was at the terminal. By the time we got around, he was kicking the sh*t out of 2 guys. He was in fatigues, mind you.
After the airport security and cops came around and we asked him after he was cleared. 2 anti-war protesters came up to him and “lectured’ him about the war etc. Then the pushing came about..
We then asked him point blank, what set him off. He said “Dude, I shined my boots for 3 hours and this a**hole spits at my boots. I didnt like that.”
“...small Chinese Guy comes in...”
That’s lacist!
Ok, so....a small chinese guy comes into an eye doctor...
No,no,no that’s Lasist?
Not Hamad, but Obama.
Otherwise, yeah, this did happen 20+ years ago....
You think you got problems, what am I supposed to do with a 9-inch pianist?!
A goat wandered into a crowded lecture hall in a middle eastern Arabic university.
The lecturing professor spotted the animal and immediately called recess.
https://www.youtube.com/embed/n6mbW-jMtrY?rel=0
Oh noes! LOL!
My dad stopped by an Air Force base to visit one of his brothers stationed there and was told where to find him. My uncle was working on sone electrical system at the time and has an unlit cigarette behind his ear. My dad was talking to him when an officer walked up and told him there was no smoking on the flight line.
My uncle shot back without looking that “I’m not smoking, sir”.
The officer said “well you have a cigarette behind your ear!”
To which my uncle responded “I got a turd in my add and I ain’t shutting either!”
My dad told him he would catch up with him at the NCO Club after work and left...
When the ophthalmologist tried to tell his Chinese patient that he had a cataract, the patient argued “No, doctor. My Rincoln is parked outside.”
“”To which my uncle responded “I got a turd in my add and I ain’t shutting either!””
Must be that auto correct again.....
... or fat fingering one key to the right.
It’s such a pain in the butt.
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