Posted on 12/09/2017 5:03:28 AM PST by sodpoodle
Some Irish Humor... Irish Confession… I went into the confessional box after many years of being away from the Catholic Church. Inside I found a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On one wall, there was a row of decanters with fine Irish whiskey and Waterford crystal glasses. On the other wall was a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates. When the priest came in, I said to him, "Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be. He replied, "You moron, you're on my side.” Some Light Dublin Traffic Humour… A car full of Irish nuns is sitting at a traffic light in down town Dublin when a bunch of rowdy drunks pull up alongside of them. "Hey, show us yer teets, ya bloody penguins." shouts one of the drunks. Quite shocked, Mother Superior turns to Sister Mary Immaculata and says, I don't think they know who we are; show them your cross." Sister Mary Immaculata rolls down her window and shouts, "Piss off, ya fookin' little wankers, before I come over there and rip yer balls off." She then rolls up her window, looks back at Mother Superior quite innocently, and asks, "Did that sound cross enough?” ______________________________ ______________ Paddy was driving home, drunk as a skunk, suddenly he has to swerve to avoid a tree, then another, then another. A cop car pulls him over as he veers about all over the road. Paddy tells the cop about all the trees in the road. Cop says "For God's sake Paddy, that's your air freshener swinging about! ” ______________________________ _______________ Reilly went to trial for armed robbery. The jury foreman came out and announced, 'Not guilty.’ 'That's grand!' shouted Reilly. 'Does that mean I can keep the money?’ ______________________________ _______________ Murphy told Quinn that his wife was driving him to drink. Quinn thinks he's very lucky because his own wife makes him walk. ______________________________ _________________ Mrs. Feeney shouted from the kitchen, 'Is that you I hear spittin' in the vase on the mantel piece?’ 'No,' said himself, 'but I'm gettin' closer all the time.’ ______________________________ __________________ Finnegin: My wife has a terrible habit of staying up 'til two o'clock in the morning. I can't break her out of it. Keenan: What on earth is she doin' at that time? Finnegin: Waitin' for me to come home! ______________________________ ________________ Slaney phoned the maternity ward at the hospital. 'Quick!' he said. 'Send an ambulance, my wife is goin' to have a baby!’ 'Tell me, is this her first baby?' the intern asked. 'No, this is her husband, Kevin, speakin’
So, this Irishman walks out of the bar...
it could happen, you know.
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