Three boys were out hiking one winter day, and heard cries for help coming from the lake. Rushing to see what was the matter, they found Barack Obama who had fallen through some thin ice on a lake and was about to drown. Quickly the boys formed a human chain and pulled him to safety.
“I’d like to reward you boys with something special for saving me”, said Obama. “Just name it, and it’s yours!”
“I want a ride on Air Force One”, said the first boy.
“You’ve got it!”, said Obama.
“I want a medal that I can show the other kids at school”, said the second boy.
“No problem!”, said Obama.
The third boy thought for a moment, and said “I want a wheelchair”.
“But why would you want that?”, asked Obama.
“’Cause when I get home and tell my dad that I saved YOU he’s gonna break my effin’ legs!”.
Heh! Not in THIS century...
They complain men age well and women don't.
THAT'S a true story.
Recently, while I was working in the flower beds in the front yard, my neighbors stopped to chat as they returned home from walking their dog.
During our friendly conversation, I asked their 12 year old daughter what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day.
Both of her parents - liberal Democrats - were standing there, so I asked her, “If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?”
She replied, “I’d give food and houses to all the homeless people.”
Her parents beamed with pride!
“Wow...what a worthy goal!” I said. “But you don’t have to wait until you’re President to do that!” I told her.
“What do you mean?” she replied.
So I told her, “You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and trim my hedge, and I’ll pay you $50. Then you can go over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house.”
She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, “Why doesn’t the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?”
I said, “Welcome to the Republican Party.”
Her parents aren’t speaking to me.
Excellent
How about a true story!
A man I worked with took his realtor mother to a OKC (200 miles away)to see a man about purchasing a local(here)piece of real estate the man owned.
He returned and told us about his trip.
The guy they visited turned out to be a “Limp wristed FAIRY” and they got no where dealing with them so my friend asked his mom ...
“Do you want to stay in OKC tonight or head home.”
His mom, who could cuss like a sailor said ..”Hell NO! LET’S HEAD HOME!”
“So we jumped into the car and headed back here nonstop! And when we got here, I got out of the car and my butt was so sore that...”
At that moment I broke in...”WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE, let’s get these facts straight! You mean to tell us, You drove all the way to OKC to see a limp wristed fairy about a land deal, and all you came back with was A SORE BUTT?”
He knew he had been had! Everyone started laughing as he sputtered and spewed..”It, it was the car seat! It was a hard seat!... it was...”
Within 10 minutes the story was all over the plant and in 30 minutes all over town. Even his realtor mom laughed when she heard the story.
Some people in the plant got to laughing so hard I thought they were going to have heart attacks. One man laughed so hard he fell to his hands and knees, laughed himself out, and continued to struggle to laugh.
it was so funny that hours later some still could not go back to their jobs they were still laughing about it.