Do you go to sleep at close to the same time every night? Set the Do Not Disturb to go on and off on your schedule. Or set the Do Not Disturb for 9PM every night and allow calls from 8AM . . . and allow calls from your VIP list. Anyone that calls twice in a row can still get through the Do Not Disturb.
Want to set it Do Not Disturb at another time? Swipe up from the bottom of the lock screen, tap the moon button. Done. To turn it off, swipe up from the bottom of the lock screen, tap the moon again. Done.
If you want a quieter alarm, that's possible too. Select an alarm tone that is subdued, and keep a loud ring tone. Problem solved.
It's amazing how people keep telling us about things that irk them which THEY CLAIM IS IMPOSSIBLE or REQUIRE an extraordinary number of clicks to do something when it is actually super simple to do what they want to do.
I don't. I'm one of those rare persons who still has a land line, so I can always be reached. Each night, I put my iPhone in airplane mode. No disturbances from my iPhone (plus it keeps its full charge until morning). Anyway, you're right, people can simply play with the settings to achieve different results.