During the recent hurricane I went several days without caring for my pond and the fish in it.
When I finally finished attending to all the serious matters, and checked in on my fishes, I made a gross discovery.
During the storm a bird fell in the pond. Whether it was alive of dead I do not know, but the Koi, goldfish, and minnows are that bird down to the bone. Everything but the elbows.
Wife did not believe me until I scooped out the pelvis and sorta flinged it at her from across the yard..
I took your advice and threw a bird carcass at my wife as an expression of my great love for her.
Evidently, this ritual does not work outside of Texas.
She knocked me on the head with one of those Swiffer mops.