Posted on 09/15/2017 8:15:38 PM PDT by BJ1
If we get straight to the point and skip the BS thats only used to soften the blow of painful facts, we can admit its hard to find a good man. Even if we take our standards, expectations, and delusional hopes off the table and really look at the situation for what it is, we can clearly see that we are not to blame for the lack of good men. No, we have society who can take the blame for this one.
Unfortunately, our culture has evolved in a way that has made finding a good man tough ― and they certainly dont make them like they used to. So, why is it so damn hard to find an awesome guy whos going to treat you right and not bail the first time temptation comes his way? Here are nine reasons.
1. Hookup culture has taken over. Although I would never knock hooking up, it has replaced dating and even relationships. Men dont want to be with one woman only, if they have an entire buffet at their disposal.
2. People have too many options. While its good to have options, it can be bad when there are too many options. At any given moment a guy can sit down at a dating app and immediately have endless options of women from which to choose. Because of that, its hard for them to give one woman a shot for more than a hot minute.
3. Lots of guys are holding out for something better. Its a sad thought, but in a world with so many options, people can become immersed in the idea that something better might be just around the corner. Because thats the case, its hard to find a man who wants to commit when theyre thinking that the next woman they meet could be perfect ― whatever perfect is.
4. Marriage is becoming obsolete. Once upon a time, people couldnt wait to get married. Although it was likely due to the fact that they would finally be able to have sex, the reality is that these days people are in no rush to get married, so therefore, theyre in no rush to get into a relationship or settle down. And if a guys friends arent married, he sure as hell wont be the first one to do it.
5. Some men are intimidated by power. In comparison to the past few decades, women are more independent than ever. This success and power, for some reason, can be intimidating for some men who, perhaps, realize that theyll never be the man his female partner is.
6. Technology has created distance. How can anyone possibly find a good man or anyone at all when we live in a world where technology rules and our most intimate relationships are with our iPhones? We cant.
7. The man-child is a legitimate problem. A man-child is a just modern day term for a man who suffers from Peter Pan Syndrome: He does not want to grow up. If he grows up, hed have to become responsible, get his act together, and even maybe find a girl and fall in love. Too many men just dont want to do that.
8. Everyone has their baggage. No one is immune to having a rocky past, and sometimes that past can interfere with how that person moves forward ― if they move forward at all. Messy baggage can keep even the great guys in hiding for a long time.
9. Being phobic of commitment is accepted. We live in a world where being scared of commitment has simply become the norm. If a man doesnt want to commit, people are rarely surprised. Since thats the case, theyll just keep on skipping out on commitment and sticking to hookup culture, because its so accepted.
If they broke down in tears on election night 2016, they are not strong or smart.
That accounts for half the women in this country.
I guess I’m lucky. Neither of our in-laws does anything remotely like that...
Moving away not an option??sorry.
Is that mold on her arm?
A birthmark?
Teenage rebellion?
May be, but I’ve heard that there are 100,000,000 Christians in China. May not be “majority” but it is a number increasing while in America the number is decreasing.
Women can bring everything to a marriage. They have to choose to.
The primary issue is most don’t know what they want, and lack the confidence to admit it. Generally, when they put words to it, that all goes away.
>>When I quit a job or get fired, I dont expect to still get paid.
You obviously don’t work for the government or as a corporate executive.
The first husband, after we divorced, people in my life starting coming up and saying they never liked him, didn’t think we’d go far, etc. We were very young, from different countries, etc. The second time I was older, and asked everyone in my life to vet this one. They all gave him rave reviews, in case my judgment was off. Didn’t help, in the long run.
I find this hard to believe. Is this a federal law? State law? If so, same in all 50 states? Where would I research this?
Perhaps. But just seeing marriage as permanent doesn’t connect with happiness. Being alone, doing all the work myself, supporting them all myself impossibly, is almost like not being a human, just being a servant. Yet I am happier now (not very though) than I was living with someone who treated me poorly. A bad marriage is worse than a bad “singlehood.”
It's not even asthetic PLACEMENT. It only serves as "good use of space" if it is to be the anchor for a whole bunch of tattoo art all over the leg and who is looking to marry Lydia The Tattooed Lady?
“Here’s your sign.”
Political views of a potential mate are very important, in the long run, if two people have vastly different political views, odds are the relationship is not going to work out.
The middle class in China is going its own way. A billion poor farmers still support the party, and the leadership still gets hung up spouting Maoist rhetoric from time to time - but the culture has already in large part slipped away of their control. It's going to be a very different country in another decade. Not necessarily better for the national interests of the USA and of China's neighbors, but the problems China will pose to the world will be far less military/totalitarian and far more economic/cultural.
"a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle"
It expresses that women have NO need or even USE for a man. And that was mainstream feminism circa the 1970s.
Uh oh, the 50s don't look the same since time travelers started going there.
It was all a big complicated mess as I’ve recounted too many times to countless strangers, however well-meaning in their advice on the situation. Unfortunately too late to save the situation 14 years past.
I’m more or less amazed at my shocking inability to find anyone since in reality, despite trying in my peculiar circumstances (not that I’d ever dare to bring someone into such a situation, it would be handled far differently now).
I’ve always hated it (re feminism) Even in its subtle, man-bashing forms. Look at woman to woman greeting cards. #1 theme: insulting men.
I adore men. They are straightforward and great company. I would prefer to hang with three guys than three women, though I love my fellow women too. But I hate drama and cliques and “group herding” (by shaming), and women do it 99% more than men do.
Feminism never served me. My mom heard the siren call and ditched us as kids for her high powered career. I’m lucky I even lived through her hands off parenting.
And then there’s the issue of the cost of a wedding. Heck, you have to save for ten years just to afford, since nowadays less and less parents are willing to pay for their kids’ weddings.
There are a bunch of Korean churches around the DFW area.
That’s well put. Thanks
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