To his surprise, the old man plays quickly. He doesn’t hit the ball very far, but it goes straight. Furthermore, the old man moves along without wasting any time.
When they reach the 9th fairway, the young man is facing a tough shot. A large pine tree sits in front of his ball, directly between it and the green.
After several minutes pondering how to hit the shot, the old man says, “You know, when I was your age, I’d hit the ball right over that tree.”
With the challenge before him, the young man swings hard, hits the ball, watches it fly into the branches, rattle around, and land with a thud a foot from where it had started.
“Of course,” says the old man, “when I was your age, that tree was only three feet tall.”
Sam Snead actually pulled that gag on a pro golfer, although I cannot recall on whom. Might have been about the trees on the left off Augusta’s 13th tee.
A priest was golfing with one of his more wayward parishoners who badly missed a shot and muttered “Jesus Christ, I missed”. The priest did not take kindly to this and warned him of the consequences of his blasphemy. A couple of rounds later it happened again whereon the priest gave him a stern warning that bad things happen to blasphemers. Well, at the 18th hole, on a shot that would win him the game, the parishoner missed his shot and loudly said, “Jesus Christ, I missed”. As the clouds above started to darken and a sudden chill wind blew from the north, the priest said, “I warned you of the consequences of your sinning” and suddenly a lightning bolt came from the heavens and hit the priest blowing him to smithereens. As the winds died down, from up in the heavens was heard, “Jesus Christ, I missed”.