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There was this loving grandfather who always made a special effort to spend time with his son’s family on weekends. Every Saturday morning he would take his 5-year-old granddaughter out for a drive in the car for some quality time - pancakes, ice cream, candy; just him and his
granddaughter.

One particular Saturday, however, he had a terrible cold and could not get out of bed. He knew his granddaughter always looked forward to their drives and would be very disappointed. Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and said that she would take their granddaughter for her weekly
drive and breakfast.

When they returned, the little girl anxiously ran upstairs to see her grandfather who was still in bed.

“Well, did you enjoy your ride with Grandma?” he asked.

“Not really, Grampa, it was boring. We didn’t see a single asshole, queer, piece of shit, horse’s ass, tree hugger, socialist left wing prick, blind bastard, dipshit, Muslim camel humper or son of a bitch anywhere we went!

We just drove around and Grandma smiled at everyone she saw. I really didn’t have any fun at all.”

Hillary Clinton phones President Trump with the news that Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg has died and asks ‘Could I take her place?’

Trump’s response: ‘It’s OK with me, if it’s OK with the undertaker’.