Posted on 07/24/2017 10:52:43 AM PDT by sodpoodle
BEWARE OF THAT UNDERWEAR DUST!
One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife, 'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in 'Slim Fast'. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!'
His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded.
The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. 'What the heck is this?' he said to himself as a little 'dust' cloud appeared when he shook them out.
'Cathy', he hollered into the bathroom, 'Why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?' She replied with a snicker. 'It's not talcum powder; it's 'Miracle Grow'!
You guys just never learn...
I thought they were funny.
My mom in her last years was still very healthy up until the very end. She said it was good to see her old friends that were still alive at the organ recitals.
“The organ recital mom?”
“Yeah you know - heart, lungs, kidneys - hear them recite all of their problems with their organs!”
(Seeing as she didn’t have those problems even at the age of 95, I think she dreaded some of those get-togethers.)
As she was nearing death she said that she was ready, but of course would miss her family - but almost all of her old friends were gone, so she was a bit lonely. From the era of getting together with grade-school girlfriends until they slowing kept dwindling away.
I told her - yeah when you finally get to heaven, I bet all your friends will be surprised. Since they hadn’t seen you in so long they probably figured you went to “that other place”.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.