Your model considers women as if they were identical units of a commodity - like cans of peas on the grocery shelf. Perhaps 25 men want one, but there are only 20 cans on the shelf; so 5 men are SOL. And you’re pretty much considering men in the same way.
But all the “messiness” of human beings, their possibilities and dynamics within relationships, aren’t quantifiable or analyzable in that way. A woman who might be just right for one man, for instance, is going to be quite wrong for any number of other men, and vice-versa – and a lot of those men cut themselves out of the running anyway, just by the way they think, the attitudes that they hold, and what they ‘exude’ because of that – because of what they’ve decided to believe.
You also aren’t figuring-in the broad range of age possibilities available to men. (It happens that I married a younger man; but that is uncommon, and somewhat frowned-upon, while men marrying younger women has always been common and acceptable.)
Any man can rise out of the ‘zero sum game’ by DECIDING to, and changing his attitudes and convictions.
We can’t ‘save the world’ with regard to the issue of relationships; but we can scope-out the possibilities of bringing one good woman into one good man’s life – provided the man and woman both really want it. Whether it can happen starts with individual consciousness and attitude. One has to set himself, in attitude and belief, above all the other men who just want a can of peas – and above those who just don’t believe in possibilities anymore.
This isn’t a matter of taking something away from another man, but of being a man who can attract something that is right for *himself*. It’s about individuality, and the spiritual right of every individual to abundant life, if he can figure out how to Take It.
I think a lot of your ‘Red Pill’ guys don’t really want love and married happiness - they like the protective (even ‘superior’) feeling of ‘burned-but-wise-and-never-a-fool-again’. They’re in the seductive throes of Self Pity - a very insidious state which often disguises itself as logically or righteously ‘justified’.
But for those who may still cherish an ideal of happiness with a woman, devotion to the Ideal is the first important step toward achieving it.
You can’t nurture that devotion if you’re constantly going on about how lousy and dangerous things are for men these days, and living full of fear and doubt. And you can’t love a woman if you are always self-protectively calculating a way to have advantage or ‘power’ over her.
You can’t think of two things at once - you have to make a choice as to which thing you are going to “love”: the ideal you cherish of a woman, and happiness with her; or your convictions regarding the apparent obstacles and difficulty.
Choose the ideal, dwell on it happily and expectantly, and see what happens.
(It’s not easy to control one’s thoughts and attitudes, and refuse to entertain doubt and fear – it’s the hardest thing that we can do in this world, and may very well be the lesson-point of being here in the first place! – but if you can pull it off for some extended period, you may find yourself surprised.)
Let other men think about cans of peas, statistics, and all that. Those men will also achieve whatever THEY constantly dwell upon and believe in, and that’s fair - they have the same opportunity to step out of the ‘zero sum game’; and if they choose not to do so, that’s, again, fair. They’re not being denied anything because someone else ‘got it’; they’ve simply made a choice.
“...be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”
I understand your argument. But I’m jaded and think some middle aged men and women are not suitable for marriage. More women than men fall into that category. Women who have cheated on the their first husband or divorced him because she “fell out of love” would qualify as women men should avoid. Women who have had one boyfriend after another for 15 to 20 years would also qualify. Too much baggage. Marriage is an institution that holds a gun to a man’s head when a divorce petition is filed. It only makes sense men need to be very choosy....just my way of looking at dating for older men/women.
As for your comment about a woman might be wrong for one man and right for another, if you read above, I’m saying there are some women that are not right for any man.
If all a man wants is marriage, sure he can find someone. But in my opinion it becomes a question of compromise. How much do you compromise on your ideal woman to not be alone anymore? And if you decide to remain choosy, you can’t always say there is a woman for every man.
Been in that situation and heard people say “I’m not perfect” or “I have my own issues” too. As if to say, suck it up and date an overweight single mom. I chose to do an end run around the system and found a woman abroad who is significantly better than a woman than I could have snagged here. The amount of compromising I had to do was exactly zero. Just a thought for you single guys who are divorced and considering your options.