Why I love AOL

Vanity | May 6, 2017 | walrus

[Walrus]

Headline from AOL: "Horse Wins 143rd Running of Kentucky Derby""

Um, what else would win the Kentucky Derby?

[PLMerite]

Maybe it was a guy who partially identified as a horse...

[Graybeard58]

I have about 300 AOL floppy disks and CD’s in the original packaging

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yes and the cashier would try to stick them into your grocery bag when you weren’t looking.

[Rastus]

I took a phone message from Don Corleone, but I couldn’t remember his name. I just said, “A man called. Hoarse.”

[Graybeard58]

Isn’t the Kentucky Derby a hat???

---

I dunno ‘bout that but I found out the hard way that KY jelly is not Kentucky jelly.

[Graybeard58]

“What else would win the Kentucky Derby”
A cheetah. Those babies are fast.

Used to drive the little ones nuts by telling them the reason that the cheetah is the fastest animal in the world.

They cheet!

[tumblindice]

Cheetahs can hit 70 mph but like most cats, only for short distances.
So cheetahs never win.

[blueunicorn6]

You have to be careful. My Son told me,

“Go ahead and tease me and your retirement home will be a refrigerator box.”

[blueunicorn6]

But they do prosper.

There are a lot of billionaire cheetahs.

They all drive Jaguars.

[Bob434]

[[Um, what else would win the Kentucky Derby?]]

A Walrus?

[Prov1322]

What’s AOL? I am still using Prodigy.

GEnie user here...

[Gil4]

I am glad you liked my headline.

[tumblindice]

What do you call a jaguar with a super bowl ring?

A thief.

[alexander_busek]

"Horse Wins 143rd Running of Kentucky Derby"

But that's not the real story!

The real story is:

"Horse Loses 143rd Running of Kentucky Derby"

...which is just as correct (and as informative)!

Regards,

[cynwoody]

I thought AOL was the Rio Linda of the Internet.

[Drago]

I still have my CompuServe member # memorized...cannot delete!

[Walrus]

BAZINGA, ClearCase!

[sarge83]

A few years back my sister was working out on a treadmill at a hotel in Vegas and this girl showed up and asked if anyone was using the treadmill beside her. Sis told the girl no, have at it. Turned out this girl was Sarah Jessica Parker. Sis said she was very nice and behaved quite normal, friendly and down to earth.

[jeannineinsd]

Apparently, there was a horse named “Audible” in the Kentucky Derby today. Came in 3rd place.

In celebration, Amazon’s audiobook company, named Audible, is giving away an audiobook about another racehorse, American Pharoah.

https://www.audible.com/ep/s/go-audible?ref_=pe_1726070_280220720&serial=&source_code=AUDOREM0412189ND2&;