Posted on 03/07/2017 8:30:25 PM PST by Rebelbase
SOUTH EUCLID, Ohio - A Facebook post from an Ohio police department about a call they got from a man on drugs is going viral because of the bizarre nature of the call.
According to the South Euclid Police Department, a 19-year-old man called just before 9 p.m. last Thursday, saying he swallowed a pregnant spider that had given birth in his stomach.
(Excerpt) Read more at theindychannel.com ...
“Is he still on? Lemme talk to him. Hey, man, it’s the police. We know about this already, the spider called us about five minutes ago. We’re sending a team of spider EMTs over to do a caesarean section. Don’t worry, the knives don’t hurt all that much. If you got any more acid you should probably take it now. Now just lie down and relax, they’re on the way...”
The poor man. He clearly needs psychiatric help.
Drugs are bad, mkay
___________________________
Truer words were never spoken.
I hate to be a spoilsport. And it’s funny, all these posts.
But this man is clearly mentally ill. And that’s not funny.
Now I’d like to say something silly at this point to underline the ridiculousness of the situation.
Acid has nothing on Jimsonweed.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Datura_stramonium
Some LSD has traces of strychnine and it messes with the stomach which if your out in LALA land can really freak you out.
Catching spiders instructions here...
There was an old lady who swallowed a fly;
I don’t know why she swallowed a fly - perhaps she’ll die!
There was an old lady who swallowed a spider;
That wriggled and wiggled and tickled inside her!
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly;
I don’t know why she swallowed a fly - Perhaps she’ll die!
There was an old lady who swallowed a bird;
How absurd to swallow a bird!
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider,
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly;
I don’t know why she swallowed a fly - Perhaps she’ll die!
I know, I’d be tempted to take LSD too, if a spider had given birth in my stomach!!
“Come into my parlar said the tripped out spider to the paisley colored flies”
The same spider survived all that? Impressive.
“But this man is clearly mentally ill. And that’s not funny.”
Being under the influence of drugs isn’t necessarily mentally ill.
I guess he had to call the police, because ACA won’t cover this.
The magic rainbow spider can lay an infinite amount of eggs. They radiate out in peace and harmony in all directions from her like a beautiful starburst. As they hatch, each baby spider shows a unique world filled with loving beings inside it. To be gifted this amazing hatching of worlds upon worlds in one’s own body is like being bathed in milk and honey for eternity. Best to curl up into a fetal position and smile for 14 hours, then eat a big bowl of Rice Krispies.
Just don’t harsh their mellow.
You don’t want to know.
Just. Don’t.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.