Understanding Engineers #1
Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one
said, “Where did you get such a great bike?”
The second engineer replied, “Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding
my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to
the ground, took off all her clothes and said, “Take what you want.”
The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, “Good choice: The clothes
probably wouldn’t have fit you anyway.”
Understanding Engineers #2
To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is
half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
I’m of that age. But if you call me senior you might need a piece of steak for that eye.
: ) Thanks.
1st OT: I just got a new hearing aid!
2nd OT: Oh yeah..what kind is it?
1st OT: Ten O:clock!
"Alright," said the friend, "here's what you do. Go home, hold the barrel three inches below your left breast, and pull the trigger."
So she went home, got her pistol, and blew her kneecap off.
Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess, "Will you marry me?"
The Princess immediately said, "Heavens No!" And the Prince lived happily ever after, and rode motorcycles and dated thin, long-legged, full-breasted women, and hunted and fished and raced cars, and went to titty bars and dated ladies half his age and drank whiskey, beer, and Captain Morgan, and never heard bitching and never paid child support or alimony, and dated cheerleaders and kept his house and guns, and ate spam, potato chips and beans, blew enormous farts, and never got cheated on while he was at work, and all his friends and family thought he was friggin' cool as hell, and he had tons of money in the bank, and left the toilet seat up.
The End.
Cashier: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?"
Cowboy: "Nah... She's purty good lookin'....."
When you are over sixty, who gives a DARN!
...........
***********
I was talking to a girl in the bar last night. She said,
"If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right."
I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."
When you are over sixty, who gives a DARN!
.