I was raised to respect my wife, to be proud of my hyphenated name - the last names of two great families - but to acknowledge that a man is free, if the law says he’s free, to change his name. I was also raised to be ever so slightly suspicious of the “manliness” of those who rage against the manliness of other men... Prematurely, as is usually the case.
(Ahem... But I myself don’t use the “middle” of my hyphenated name, have at times felt hen-pecked, call my mother regularly, and to be fair, at sea, I have often peed sitting down. So I guess you’re on the mark! LOL)
I’m happy for you.