Besides the fact I was working today, I figured you or some other anti-Apple Hate Brigade member would. . . but more importantly is this sentence from Consumers Reports own article:
"They then tried testing under Chrome instead of Safari and saw much better results, even though Chrome has a reputation for being a battery hog."
In other words, the battery results are dependent on the SOFTWARE, not the HARDWARE being used. Apple is prepping a new version of Safari. Other reviews of the new MacBook Pro have posted more reasonable tests.
PS, I don't post every Apple article. Thanks for doing it.
Got my first iMac in 2011.
Still working today...