For our Canadian FReepers (humor)

email | 12/22/2016 | unknown

[sodpoodle]

Joining the Police Force

Three Atlantic Canada boys were all applying for the last available position on the St. John's Police Force.

The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, "So you all want to be cops, huh?"

The detective got up, opened a file drawer, and pulled out a folder.

Sitting back down, he opened it, pulled out a picture, and said, "To be a detective, you have to be able to detect. You must be able to notice things such as distinguishing features and oddities like scars and so forth."

[sodpoodle]

So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the boy from PEI and withdrew it after about two seconds.

"Now," he said, "did you notice any distinguishing features about this man?"

The Spud Islander immediately said, "Yes, I did, he has only one eye!"

The detective shook his head and said, "Of course he has only one eye in this picture! It's a profile of his face! You're dismissed!"

The Islander hung his head and walked out of the office.

The detective then turned to the second boy from Nova Scotia, stuck the photo in his face for two seconds, pulled it back, and said, "What about you? Notice anything unusual or outstanding about this man?"

"Yes! He only has one ear!"

The detective put his head in his hands and exclaimed, "Didn't you hear what I just told the other guy?

This is a profile of the man's face! Of course you can only see one ear! You're excused too!"

The Bluenoser sheepishly walked out of the office.

The detective turned his attention to the last boy, a hometown Newfie boy with a long family history in Newfoundland and said, "This is probably a waste of time, but...."

He flashed the photo in his face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it, saying, "All right, did you notice anything distinguishing or unusual about this man?"

The Newfie said, "I sure did. This man wears contact lenses."

The detective frowned, took another look at the picture, and began looking at some of the papers in the folder. He looked up at the Newfie with a puzzled expression and said, "You're absolutely right!

The Newfie rolled his eyes and said, "Well, Hellooooooo! With only one eye and one ear, ... he certainly can't wear glasses."

[RightGeek]

Lol

[PJBankard]

LOL.

[Rusty0604]

Lol

[JudyinCanada]

Hahaha - good one. I thought for sure the 3rd guy was going to say that the guy in the picture had two noses.

Note - if you’re going to post for Canadians, you need to spell “humour” correctly ;)

[Eric in the Ozarks]

Yeah...get with the programme, eh ?

[JudyinCanada]

Right on, Eric.

[binreadin]

I spent my very early years in St. John's and remember looking out my bedroom window to see large trucks selling open beds full of freshly caught fish, making their way up our street. The housewives would run out with white enamel basins and money in their hands. I was only four, and couldn't figure out why the men would be getting money and giving it back too (they were making change). My mother would take me to the docks where we would eat doughnuts and she would have coffee, watching the ships come in. I've had to be by the water ever since, although I am considerably South of Newfoundland now. We no longer have to swim while looking at icebergs, as we used to at Quidi Vidi Bay. I still love fried bologna too.

[BitWielder1]

It thought he would say the guy had one nose, which would be correct.

[BluH2o]

I still love fried bologna too.

Originally from eastern Canada ... fried bologna is a delicacy I haven't had in years. Need to try it out again ...

[Paradox]

I literally LOLed, that was cute, and I ain’t even Canadian.

[Pecos]

Thank you so much! Laughed so hard, I got tears in my eyes.

[Toespi]

Pretty funny, thanks for the LOL!

[b_Cap37]

My favourite Newfie phrases:

Lard tunderin’ jaysus, me son, if’n I ‘ad a face de likes a yers, I’be be shavin’ me arse and walkin’ back’ards!

and

Don’t be eatin’ the red’uns; they’s green! (In reference to blueberries.)

I’d encourage any Yank here to visit Newfoundland in August/September for a holiday you’ll never forget. Ask anyone on a plane diverted there on 9/11!

[Liberty Valance]

Ha!

[Gay State Conservative]

I went out for years with a woman who grew up in Nova Scotia.She always told the funniest stories about “Newfies”.I think they were funnier to her than to me but that would make sense.Jokes about rednecks would certainly mean more to us than to Canadians.

[Gay State Conservative]

Note - if you’re going to post for Canadians, you need to spell “humour” correctly ;)

Yah,and next you'll be demanding that we eat a helping of poutine as well! ;-)

[Gay State Conservative]

Ask anyone on a plane diverted there on 9/11!

Yah,but they *would*...most of them were Germans and French! ;-) I've been to New Brunswick and Nova Scotia but nowhere else in "Atlantic Canada".Very nice indeed!

[free_life]

Newfie sage wisdom, wherever you go, that’s where you will be!

[albertabound]

stay where you be i’ll come where yer at