Need Marine Jokes

me | 12/13/16 | lafroste

[manc]

As we were leaving PI this summer we saw the new recruits starting their training and being screamed at, while running like headless chickens.
My wife said to my son who had just graduated boot camp that she feels bad for them knowing what they have to now go through.
My son replied I don;t. I had to do it, now can we leave here.
LOL.

[Mears]

My son graduated in the mid 80s.

When he was showing us around on graduation week he noticed a DI who he said he liked.

We saw this DI later and I told him that my son thought highly of him. He replied “I guess I wasn’t doing my job.”

.

[manc]

LOL. The DI;s there nearly lose their voices from the shouting. I saw them going into the MCX buying throat lozenges all the time

[Rembrandt]

Thanks. I went thru Boot Camp at Great Lakes during late winter in the Chicago area - I can’t remember many/any fun times. After 9 weeks, our Company Commander said we should move to the break room for the first time, then (hooray) said, “The Smoking Lamp is lit.” Once everyone had their cigarettes out and lit with a couple of deep puffs, he announced “The Smoking Lamp is out, then he laughed.” After a couple of minutes he announced the smoking lamp was lit again and we all got light headed on one cigarette. That was the extent of the good times in 12 weeks.

SERE was much, much worse.

[RaceBannon]

The Night They Gunned Down Santa Claus
by Chet Lynn

There’s strange things done ‘neath the Vietnamese sun
but the thing that locked my jaws
was the night ‘neath the moon, the third platoon
gunned down Santa Claus.

It started off right just another night,
you had to spend in the dirt,
security was out, .360 about
with fifty percent alert.

We had 81s and naval guns
our tanks were track to track,
an ontos or so an arty FO
with barrages back to back.

I froze where I stood ‘cause out of the wood
eight horses came charging along,
this may sound scary those mustangs were hairy,
“Oh no,” I moaned,” mounted Viet Cong.”

They were coming our way pulling what looked like a sleigh
you never knew what they’d use,
our flares were tripped our SIDs had flipped
Our tipsy blew a fuse.

We let them close then we yelled “who goes”
like they do in the movie show,
the answer we got, believe it or not,
was a hearty,” Ho Ho Ho.”

Now these troops of mine have seen some time
they’ve done some things back-assward,
they may be thick but I’ll tell you a trick
they knew that wasn’t the password.

The nineties roared, the 81’s soared,
the naval guns raised hell,
a bright red flare flew through the air,
as we fired our FPL.

I’ll grant him guts but that man was nuts
or I’m a no good liar,
he dropped like a stone in our killing zone
I passed the word, “cease fire”.

I went out and took a real good look,
my memory started to race,
my mind plays games when it comes to names
but I never forget a face.

He was dressed in red and he looked well fed
older than most I’d seen,
he looked right weird with that long white beard
and stumps where his legs had been.

He hadn’t quite died when I reached his side
but the end was clearly in sight,
I knelt down low and he said real slow,
“Merry Christmas...and to all, a good night...”

Now we should have known our cools were blown
when that light in the East we seen.
I thought it was flares and it had to be theirs
or the damned things would have been green.

I picked up the hook with a voice that shook
said “Gimme the Six and quick.”
“Colonel,” I said, “hang on to your head,
we just greased old St. Nick.”

Now the old man’s cool. He’s nobody’s fool,
right off he knew the word.
If This got out, there’d be no doubt,
he wouldn’t be making his bird.

“Just get him up here and we’ll play it by ear,
make sure he’s got a tag,
dismantle the sleigh, drive those reindeer away
and bury that damned old bag.”

Now by and by the kiddies may cry
‘cause nothings under the tree,
but the word came back from FMFPac
that Santa had gone VC.

There’s strange things done ‘neath the Vietnamese sun
but the time that locked my jaws,
was the night ‘neath the moon, ‘When the third platoon
gunned down Santa Claus.

~*~ And a Merry Christmas to all...~*~

[RaceBannon]

Capt Samuel Nicholas was recruiting his first recruit for the Marine Corps in Tun’s Tavern, Philadelphia, November 10, 1775.
His first recruit came up to him. “Here , sign your name or make your mark. Here’s $10 pay for your first month. Did you bring your rifle?”
The first Marine Recruit signed his name, took the money and said, “Yes, Sir, I have my rifle.”
“Capt Nicholas said, “Outstanding! Go sit down in the room in the back!”
The second Marine recruit shows up. Capt Nicholas says, “Here, sign your name or make your mark! Here’s $10 for your first month’s pay! Did
you bring your rifle?”
The second recruit signs his name, takes his pay and says, “No, Sir, I dont have a rifle just yet!”
Capt Nicholas says, “That’s okay, we’ll get you one! Now, Go in the back room and sit down with the other Marine recruit!”
The second recruit steps in the back room, sees the first recruit and sits at the table with him.
The first recruit asks him, “Hey, Did you bring your rifle?” The second recruit says, “No, he said he’d get me one soon though.”
The first recruit said, “You know, in the OLD CORPS, we had to bring our OWN rifles!”

[MortMan]

Even Marines need heroes to look up to.

To look up to a submariner, one would have to be on the ocean floor! ;-P

[Nuc 1.1]

Chuckles. Perhaps a little bit less deep than the ocean floor. ;D

[MortMan]

At any rate, this former ground pounder salutes your service, sir!

[Nuc 1.1]

Right back at you FReeper. All of us together made up and continue to make up the finest fighting force the world has ever seen. :D)