Posted on 10/17/2016 4:04:26 AM PDT by Morgana
When I imagined my wedding, I pictured a destination wedding that everyone and their plus-ones couldn't wait to get to something European and chic, in a gothic church with al fresco photos on cobblestone streets. I also wanted a couple hundred guests. In Paris. Or Ireland. A place from where my fiancé and I could just jet off into the sunset afterwards and disappear on the continent for a few weeks.
For multiple reasons (like, reality), my fiancé and I ended up planning a state-side affair, but the sophistication remained. We're getting married on a Saturday in New York City, at in my opinion one of the city's most stunning churches, followed by a reception at one of the world's top restaurants. A jazz quartet will serenade our guests with classics. The food and champagne will be French. Our palette is white on white on white (or ivory). The words I've used with countless vendors from my jeweler to my florist are, "Crisp. Elegant. Modern."
One thing that definitely won't be at my wedding? Kids.
That's not to say I don't like kids. I have seven kids under the age of 15 in my extended family, and my fiancé has around 35 (!) kids on his side. And nearly half of our friends have one or more kids under the age of three. But neither of us loves being around children that much, and we knew as soon as we got engaged that those kids would definitely not be invited to our wedding.
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Our son just got married and it was exactly that. The church she grew up in was a modified movie theater, which is a bit non-traditional, but the renovation was nicely done so it doesn't have the movie-theater feel any more. The wedding and reception were done right there in the church. We're not resigned to it being "one last time" for everyone to get together, since he's the oldest of six. I do realize grandparents aren't getting any younger, but they are still in good health and active in their 80's.
PS: I proposed to my bride on the side of the tallest mountain in the UK.
It was summer, so it was snowing, and she got bronchitis.
Their wedding, respect their choices. No, I don’t want kids at my wedding reception either, they can come to the Church, but not the reception. I have been to enough weddings to realize not all kids can handle it and not all kids should be exposed to the drunken revelry that can occur . Really, hire a babysitter instead of making a scene, it is actually rude to impose on the wishes of the bride and groom..
My husband is from a large family so there is a huge age range among the 40 grandkids. When one of the older grandkids (his nephew) got married his bride had planned a surprise at the reception. She is a talented singer so they dimmed the lights, had a spotlight and disco ball for lighting effect and she sang “At Last” to him. The lighting fascinated his much younger cousin (she was around 4) and what the bride and groom didn’t see was her dancing in the sparkling lights directly behind them during the entire song. We were dying laughing-especially when I looked over at my sister in law (little girl’s mom) and saw the look of horror on her face. Dad had left to take the two year old to the bathroom and she had just returned from tending to the newborn and that was how the oldest managed to get “backstage” and steal the show.
I remember thinking I would have crawled under the table cloths of the head table to pull her away if I were the mom, but really not much could be done. It’s the only thing I remember about that wedding and it still makes me giggle.
Agree 100%, but whether children attend is a separate issue. If the bride and groom do not invite your children, do not bring them. This is the case whether the wedding cost one million dollars or five hundred dollars.
My hope is she won’t have kids at the divorce.
My nieces and nephew were part of my wedding. I had other kids at my wedding. I gave the kids coloring books and colors during the reception.
I loved having kids at my wedding! I think weddings are for the entire family.
In America, pretty much that.
My daughter’s wedding was one without children. It was a beautiful venue right on the river. Without fencing. It was a safety issue. Rowdy children, drunk parents, really gave us no choice.
Drunk and falling down? (joke)
As opposed to the drunk adult uncle with the loud mouth yelling obscenities. Or the adult mother in law who's angry about losing her son to that witch. Or the adult male members of the wedding party getting into a fight in the parking lot. Or cousin Betty walking in on her husband going at it with her adult sister in the coat closet. Many adults are screaming children in large bodies.
My husband and I certainly try to give enough to “cover the expenses,” and here on Long Island, believe me, “the expenses” are tremendous. (Even if you try to do in on the cheap.)
If the bride has registered for a china pattern or a silver pattern, we usually give those. If we give cash, though, we typically give at least $250 if it’s just the two of us going. If our two kids went as well, that number bumped up to at least $350. The kids are grown now, and usually receive their own invitations to such events. They also give their own gifts.
Regards,
Oh! Should have mentioned that my kids only attended if they were invited.
For my own wedding, and because it was an evening Mass and reception, I didn’t specifically invite children. However, I told guests who were coming from out-of-town to bring them along if they couldn’t secure babysitting. I wanted my cousins to come and didn’t want them to skip it because of babysitting issues.
The wedding went off without a hitch.
Regards,
By that reasoning, neither is a marriage the place for children.
Go find your comfort zone
Place thumb in mouth
Suck
Go find your comfort zone
Place thumb in mouth
Suck
Go find your comfort zone
Place thumb in mouth
Suck
Not sure why you responded to another poster’s quote and directed it at me.
I was a bride's maid and giggled at something the little flower girl had done while trying to grab her hand to keep her still. Oooh weee, did we both get in trouble. Good grief, the wedding ceremony is supposed to be a happy time. People need to get over themselves. It's much more pleasant to remember 5 seconds of a flower girl doing what little ones do than an angry bride for the rest of the day.
Not necessarily true these days. Many people don't live near their hometown. My new wife and I don't live anywhere near "home" as we both have a military background and are stationed in the DC area. Trying to determine "where" to have the wedding and reception was a nightmare, as going closer toward one of our families would mean increased difficulty and expense for the other's family. Trying to do anything in the DC area was cost prohibitive and a logistical nightmare.
We settled on on small wedding in the church and got married with friends who couldn't attend the big ordeal.
We invited immediate family from both sides to the Dominican Republic -~$1100 per person, including airfare, liquor, food, and shuttle for a 5 night , 4 day stay.
This allowed both sides to have a few days together as a reunion and to meet the other side and spend time with us. Kids were invited, we asked the guests NOT to give us gifts.
In the end it was less stressful for our guests, and cost about the same for them to come to DC and stay for three days. Also, even with assisting two of our guests with costs - it was still cheaper for us to have the wedding (reception, florists, etc) in the Caribbean than what we were looking at in the DC area, as the resort only charged us ~$1500 for the wedding from ceremony to reception.
I know a lot of professionals who don't live near "home," and their spouse isn't from the same hometown. A destination wedding at an all inclusive resort can be a good answer. There's things everyone can do together, food/lodging/liquor/airfare is including in the package, and everyone is colocated.
Granted the Dominican Republic isn't Paris, but truth be told, I'd rather go to the DR than France.
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