[SMGFan]

I don't give a darn.

[Larry Lucido]

They couldn’t decide which witnesses were on first second and third.

[Lurking Libertarian]

An example of why it's often a mistake to appeal. The defendants won in the lower court on the ground that their use of a snippet from the "Who's on First" routine was "fair use." Had the plaintiffs not appealed, they could have sued other infringers. But they appealed, and got a ruling that the copyright on the routine had expired-- now they can't sue anyone who copies the routine.

[Edward.Fish]

A federal appeals court Tuesday called out a lower-court judge for tossing a copyright infringement lawsuit over the 80-year-old sketch “Who’s On First?”

Eighty years.
And here I thought the Constitution said:

To promote the Progress of Science and useful Arts, by securing for limited Times to Authors and Inventors the exclusive Right to their respective Writings and Discoveries;

Care to tell me what the limit is, if 80-years is considered valid?
Also, I note that it specifically secures these rights to the authors and inventors — which brings up the question: Are these kin of Abbott & Costello the actual authors/inventors?

[jmacusa]

He’s our short stop.

[SkyDancer]

Costello: I got myself a fancy new computer with Win98.
Abbot: That’s terrific, Lou.
Costello: But I don’t know what any of it means!!
Abbot: You will in time.
Costello: That’s exactly why I am here to see you.
Abbot: Oh?
Costello: I heard that you are a real computer expert.
Abbot: Well, I don’t know—
Costello: Yes-sir-ee. You know your stuff. And you’re going to train me.
Abbot: Really?
Costello: Uh-huh. And I am here for my first lesson.
Abbot: OK, Lou. What do want to know?
Costello: I am having no problem turning it on, but I heard that you should be very careful how you turn it off.
Abbot: That’s true.
Costello: So, here I am working on my new computer and I want to turn it off. What do I do?
Abbot: Well, first you press the Start button, and then—
Costello: No, I told you, I want to turn it off.
Abbot: I know, you press the Start button—
Costello: Wait a second. I want to turn it off. Off. I know how to start it. So tell me what to do.
Abbot: I did.
Costello: When?
Abbot: When I told you to press the Start button.
Costello: Why should I press the Start button?
Abbot: To shut off the computer.
Costello: I press Start to stop.
Abbot: Well Start doesn’t actually stop the computer.
Costello: I knew it! So what do I press.
Abbot: Start
Costello: Start what?
Abbot: Start button.
Costello: Start button to do what?
Abbot: Shut down.
Costello: You don’t have to get rude!
Abbot: No, no, no! That’s not what I meant.
Costello: Then say what you mean.
Abbot: To shut down the computer, press—
Costello: Don’t say, “Start!”
Abbot: Then what do you want me to say?
Costello: Look, if I want to turn off the computer, I am willing to press the Stop button, the End button, even the Cease and Desist button, but no one in their right mind presses the Start to Stop.
Abbot: But that’s what you do.
Costello: And you probably Go at Stop signs, and Stop at green lights.
Abbot: Don’t be ridiculous.
Costello: I am being ridiculous? Well. I think it’s about time we started this conversion.
Abbot: What are you talking about?
Costello: I am starting this conversation right now. Good-bye.

[Fiji Hill]

Who's On Second?

[daler]

https://youtu.be/het1kl-A8qw

[Karliner]

That’s right. TM. Next up Gallagher family sues anyone not giving credit prior to smashing watermelons. Nanoo Nanoo

[dfwgator]

A Blast from the Past....

President: “Secretary! Nice to see you. What’s happening?”
Secretary: “Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.”
President: “Great. Lay it on me.”
Secretary: “’Hu’ is the new leader of China.”
President: “That’s what I want to know.”
Secretary: “That’s what I’m telling you.”
President: “That’s what I’m asking you. Who is the new leader of China?”
Secretary: “Yes.”
President: “I mean the fellow’s name.”
Secretary: “Hu.”
President: “The guy in China.”
Secretary: “Hu.”
President: “The new leader of China.”
Secretary: “Hu.”
President: “The Chinaman!”
Secretary: “Hu is leading China.”
President: “Now whaddya’ asking me for?”
Secretary: “I’m telling you Hu is leading China.”
President: “Well, I’m asking you. Who is leading China?”
Secretary: “That’s the man’s name.”
President: “That’s who’s name?”
Secretary: “Yes.”
President: “Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?”
Secretary: “Yes, sir.”
President: “Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.”
Secretary: “That’s correct.”
President: “Then who is in China?”
Secretary: “Yes, sir.”
President: “Yassir is in China?”
Secretary: “No, sir.”
President: “Then who is?”
Secretary: “Yes, sir.”
President: “Yassir?”
Secretary: “No, sir.”
President: “Look, Secretary. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.”
Secretary: “Kofi?”
President: “No, thanks.”
Secretary: “You want Kofi?”
President: “No.”
Secretary: “You don’t want Kofi.”
President: “No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.”
Secretary: “Yes, sir.”
President: “Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.”
Secretary: “Kofi?”
President: “Milk! Will you please make the call?”
Secretary: “And call who?”
President: “Who is the guy at the U.N?”
Secretary: “Hu is the guy in China.”
President: “Will you stay out of China?!”
Secretary: “Yes, sir.”
President: “And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.”
Secretary: “Kofi.”
President: “All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.”
Secretary (picks up the phone): “Rice, here.”
President: “Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?”

[HHFi]

That sketch was largely the creation of A&C’s longtime writer, John Grant, who came up with many of their famous doubletalk routines. But between the three of them, they knew so many old burlesque bits that a lot of their famous routines were really just variations on routines that had been done by thousands of comics for decades (”Niagara Falls!,” etc.) Claiming to have an ironclad copyright on “Who’s On First” is like claiming to have invented the recipe for fried eggs.