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Standard cliche lines currently in jaw-dropping use all over the Interwebs:

The Photographer Just Kept Filming. [And should have because nothing happened]
What She Looks Like Now is Jaw Dropping.[Not Really.]
So-and-So's Mansion Will Leave You Speechless[Probably not even speaking softly for a few moments.]
This Picture Broke The Internet. [Because pictures women with of large, pendulous breasts are always doing that. Right.]
The REAL reason Such-and-Such a TV show got cancelled. [Not the real reason.]
Things the producers of [Everything from NCIS to Speed Racer to Gilligan's Island] DO NOT WANT YOU TO KNOW.[Except everyone who wanted to know already knew, and nobody else cared.]
This ONE Simple Trick Cures (Everything from Tinnitus to Diabetes to Belly Fat to ...) [Just Kidding. Please click through thirty pages to buy our snake oil remedy.]
Actor/Celebrity/Athletes Mansion is Disgusting. [No doubt.]
#1 Weird Trick To Cure Erectile Dysfunction.[Invariably shown along with picture of the end of a fire hose, the middle of an elephant's trunk, or some other object vaguely reminiscent of uniquely male anatomy.]
You won't believe what she looks like now. [What I don't believe is that you managed to take a picture of her literally seconds after she got out of bed.]
Twenty two [or thirty seven, or fifty one...] Stars That Everyone Thinks is Dead. [Apparently they aren't, but the headline is always accompanied by a picture of someone who is. ]

Ah, civilization.