Understand that dementia is not always caused by Alzheimer’s. In my late mother’s case it was caused by a series of mini-strokes. Even after she had reached the point of not recognizing us, she could still carry on the type of conversation you might have with someone you had just met. Any stranger passing by would not have realized that her mind was failing.
The first time she asked me, “Now where does your family live?” I was a little taken aback. When she would ask similar questions, I often debated in my mind if it was better to tell her who she was and how we were related — which is what I did — or if it would have been more helpful for her if I had made something up. She always seemed so confused by my answers.
Two of my siblings really took it hard when she did not know who they were, but I came to accept it. I just came to the point of treating her as if she were a child, which is what my very bright, well-read, proud mother had become. Knowing that she was not aware of her loss was a comfort to me.
Two of my sisters and I rotated care of her at her home, and, over the course of those 2 years, I tried to treat her with the same sweet care and kindness she had given to all of her 9 children and to her grandchildren. I came to be thankful for the opportunity to take care of my dear mother as she had once cared for me. Fortunately, she remained very sweet and co-operative throughout all of it.
Prayers for you and your mother.
You are fortunate indeed. My m-i-l was not so sweet at the end.
We think it was mini strokes for her as well.
Thank you for sharing your story. I’m sure I will start adjusting to this new loss. My mom was like yours, so sweet and caring and nurturing. She knows her brain isn’t working the way it should. I don’t want her to feel badly. I know it is way worse for her than whatever I’m going through. I especially want to thank you for your prayers.