Posted on 08/26/2016 6:09:28 PM PDT by Lazamataz
For about a decade and a half, I have heard horror stories of Indian IT outsourcing. I have not seen the horror stories become realized -- for the most part, the crap you get out of Indian offshore IT is, well, crap.
It is not crap because of their skill, in some cases. I have found that while 65% of Indian IT 'professionals' overstate their skill, the remaining 35% can do the job.
The issue is the cultural differences. In the case of most Indians, some 90%, they will do EXACTLY as you ask. And that is their downfall.
Americans are willing to challenge a boss's premises. Indians are not. They will deliver exactly what is asked for, and Americans will -- generally -- find a better, more efficient way to do things. I will give you a personal example:
I was tasked with replicating a credit-card payment data flow, to duplicate the entire flow, except at the end. At the end, thing A had to happen instead of thing B. My boss was an Indian, and asked me to replicate the entire flow with the minor difference at the end.
I was given a week to accomplish my task. I returned in 30 minutes. "I'm done," I said.
"No, you can't be. Come back to me when you are done."
"I'm done. Here's the output. I put a switch on the final SQL procedure for the different final behavior."
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But this essay is not about that. This essay is about Indian recruiters. These people are a scourge. They are a plague.
I intend to stay in Atlanta, GA, but I have had many Indian recruiters contact me about -- for example -- a two month position in Benoit, Wisconson. What the FREEP.
I even put the directive IN MY LAST NAME in the job boards.
I used to be Laz A. Mataz, but I changed my name to Laz A. Mataz (NO RELOCATION! ATLANTA OPPORTUNITIES ONLY!).
They still cannot see it.
So, here is a homage to the evil, horrible Indian recruiters that now flood the recruiting market.
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Typical conversation with an Indian recruiter:
I.R.: Ello this is Ganesh Gupta calling you from A.I.T.R. (Annoying I.T.Recruiters). How are you doing today?
Me: I’m ok. How are you.
I.R.: Fine, thanks for asking. Yes I have a position for you. Are you interested?
Me: It depends.
I.R.: Ello?
For some reason the say ‘hello’ when they mean any number of other things besides hello including: ‘what?’ or ‘would you please clarify?’ or ‘can you hear me?’ I like pretending they mean ‘hello’ as in the greeting.
Me: Hello
I return the ‘greeting’ and they think I can’t hear them or don’t understand what they’re saying.
I.R.: Ello?
Me: Hello
I.R.: Ello?
Me: Hello
I.R.: Ello?
Me: Hello
I.R.: Ello?
Me: Hello
This has actually gone on much longer than this. The passive aggression can be quite satisfying. Eventually I’ll give in and get the conversation back on track by letting them know I can hear them.
I.R.: Yes I have a position for you. Are you interested?
Me: It depends.
I.R.: It depends?
Me: That’s what I said.
I.R.: Ello?
Me: Where is it located?
I.R.: You live in Atlanta, Georg-YEE-yah?
(Indian recruiters CANNOT pronounce Georgia. It's pronounced Georg-ja. They ALWAYS pronounce it Georg-YEE-yah.)
Me: Where…is…the…position…located?
I.R.: Yes the position is located in b..boom foc, Wyoming.
Me: I think it’s pronounced ‘Bum F**k’.
I.R.: Oh sorry yes. Are you interested?
Me: No. I only want to stay in Atlanta, Georgia.
I.R.: You want to stay in Atlanta, Georg-YEE-yah?
Me: Yes.
I.R.: But this is in Boom-foc Wyoming.
Me: I know. But I want to stay in Atlanta, Georgia.
I.R.: This pays very well.
Me: How much does it pay?
I.R.: What is the lowest rate will you accept?
Me: What is the highest rate you are willing to pay?
I.R.: What is the lowest rate will you accept?
Me: What is the highest rate you are willing to pay?
I.R.: What is the lowest rate will you accept?
Me: One million dollars per hour.
I.R.: Ha, ha, oh no. I am sorry the most we can pay you is dollar forty per hour.
Me: One dollar and forty cents per hour?
I.R.: Yes.
Me: One dollar and forty cents per hour?
I.R.: Yes.
Me: I think you mean forty U.S. dollars per hour.
I.R.: Yes.
This is significantly less than I can make anywhere in the U.S. It’s not uncommon for them to say the word ‘dollar’ when they mean that the amount is in U.S. dollars…not rupees.
Me: Is this on a W-2, 1099 or corp-to-corp basis?
I.R.: Yes.
Me: I’m asking you a question. Is the rate on a W-2, 1099 or corp-to-corp basis?
I.R.: Yes.
Me: What is the duration of this project?
I.R.: Ello?
Me: What is the duration of this project?
I.R.: This position is two months.
Me: What is the job title?
I.R.: JAVA developer.
Me: I’m not interested.
I.R.: You are not interested?
Me: I’m not interested because I’m not a JAVA developer. I design and build C#, MVC, and SQL systems. I’m not interested in relocating to Bum F**k, Wyoming. The rate is too low. The duration is too short.
I.R.: We can pay dollar forty-two per hour.
Me: I’m still not interested.
I.R.: Is the location of Boom-foc, Wyoming ok?
Me: No.
I.R.: It is not ok?
Me: That’s what I said.
I.R.: But the position is two months.
Me: Two months is too short.
I.R.: Two months is too short?
Me: That’s what I said. Also I’m not a JAVA developer.
I.R.: You are not a JAVA developer?
Me: That’s what I said.
I.R.: We can go as high as dollar forty-three an hour.
Me: I'm making sixty an hour.
I.R.: Dollar forty three is a great rate.
Me: I'm making sixty an hour.
I.R.: Dollar forty four, I can do. I will contact my manager first.
Me: I'm making sixty an hour.
I.R.: The highest I can do is dollar forty four. Can you do this corp-to-corp? When can you report to work?
Me: (click)
Oh, and forgot to mention: These guys have NEVER heard of the Strategy Pattern or Class factories, apparently.
I saw code like this when on the road. It looked similar but not the same. I got asked to splice a piece of Program A together with a piece of Program B. I got it to compile together by means of writing a big kludgey “thunk” to interface the similar, but not identical, interfaces. Then, mercifully, I got called onto a different project.
USE SOME DECORATOR ATTRIBUTES AND ABSTRACT CLASSES FERGAHSAKE!
(Not you. Indians. I’m yelling at Indians.)
This was in C, no such ruck.
Triple bypass,,,
Step Dad had one of those.
Thanks for the ping.
But in my attempt to sew together this “scientifically accurate CatDog” piece of software, I discovered that about 30% of it all was dead code! Nobody called it.
I worked at an IT company that was mostly Indian for almost two years. It was racist how almost everyone they hired was Indian.
Worst project I ever saw: ONE HUNDRED EIGHTY SEVEN examples of dynamic SQL in the code.
ONE.
HUNDRED.
EIGHTY.
SEVEN.
And, in the landing page, TWENTY includes of a javascript library. The same library. TWENTY TIMES. A round-trip for each include.
And people wondered why the landing page took 45 seconds to load.
LOL
They do that. I had an interview at Macys. All Indians. Curiously, though I was clearly as professionally skilled — maybe even superior — to my interviewers, somehow I was passed over. LOL
Dynamic SQL is a bit slower, but not horribly so. I’ve actually dug into the ORAthis, ORAthat which Oracle uses for its internal interface, and it ends up boiling down to something that has to be parsed at run time anyhow.
I know less about Javascript — that system apparently doesn’t understand when you’re asking to load the same code more than once, and optimize it for you?
You’ve experienced it, apparently. :)
Dude, we need to talk. It's awful.
Dynamic SQL is unacceptable on speed issues (no compiling) and on Best Practices issues (no Reflection, no ability to use Perf Monitor or Execution Planner, just to name two optimizer technologies.) I suspect you are not in Big Data at all. DON'T ALLOW DYNAMIC SQL.
I’ve actually dug into the ORAthis, ORAthat which Oracle uses for its internal interface, and it ends up boiling down to something that has to be parsed at run time anyhow.
I'm more talking SQL, I don't have Oracle. Oracle might differ. But I know my SQL.
I know less about Javascript — that system apparently doesn’t understand when you’re asking to load the same code more than once, and optimize it for you?
Not in ASP.NET 3.5 codebase. They might have cleaned it up in 4.0 or 4.5, but I stick with MVC now, and get my Ajax using RAZOR.
Cat Dog,
Strategy Patern,
Huh?
You guys are spies er something, right?
Nah. Just GEEKS. lol
“The only ‘no’ they understand is a hangup.”
You must be getting the smart ones.
In the last couple days I’ve had two call back.
Are you kidding me???
Then tell them you are off the market. That one seems to work.
Maybe I’ve never worked a system that let you pre-compile to the inner language of the database. Oracle is a biggie in the business world, though, and I’ve watched what happens internally when you do a full dynamic SQL versus a “precompiled” statement. Even with the latter, hunks of SQL get passed to the parser AT RUN TIME. Sure, the precompiler understood the SQL — well enough to munge it a little and send it on to the parser at run time.
Nossir. I’ve seen my SQL get compiled and run faster.
But more importantly, Dynamic SQL does not work well in such frameworks and Entity Framework. There cannot be any Reflection. That means you cannot get Type Safety, nor can you leverage EF to generate code and classes for you.
Furthermore, D SQL doesn’t lend itself to the performance tools.
D SQL.
Just say no.
We seem to be talking about two different things in two different database architectures. Oracle kind of fakes it. I’ve watched the traffic between the client processes and the server, and it rips out some pretty plain SQL between the two. Obviously the server is still parsing that stuff.
Okay,
I have worked along side Vietnamese Boat people for over 10 yrs.
Racists and conniving little cowards,
but the females are Hot.
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