Quick. Take it the vet and nueter/spay it.
Hilarious!
Does it pee on your shoes?
my first thought. The dog shit in the floor and blamed the cat.
Does he lick himself?
My dog is definitely a democrat. He lays around all day, he waits for me to open the door, I feed him. I bathe him. I pay for his medical care. I chauffeur him all over town. And to add insult to injury he somehow votes for democrats at least 4 times every election.