You never get over it, you just learn to live with the new normal. There is no “correct” way to go through the grieving process. There is YOUR way to go through it and, whatever that is, is right for you and no one else’s concern.
Like yours, my Dad was my rock. I lost my wife to cancer in 2004 when she was 35. At the time, my 2 sons were 8 and 9 and, I freely admit, being a typical male I struggled with some of the little things I had to do to raise them myself. I had to learn to cook well, etc.
All along the way, Dad was there, calling and encouraging. I can still clearly hear his voice saying “You can do this and do it well.”, and “you’re doing great! The boys are fine and growing up well!”
We lost him in 2010. His influence on me, and my boys, is immeasurable. 6 years later I still miss him terribly.
My father passed away at home from lung cancer. He knew he was dying and was grateful that he was allowed to put his affairs in order, take care of my mother, and die at home instead of “all alone in a jungle or battlefield”.
We talked about it and he was satisfied with how things shook out. He saw his grandkids hug and kiss him, he saw my sister and I get married and I truly think he had nothing but thanks for the life he was granted.
I coped with his loss by holding my wife and crying for a couple of minutes when he was diagnosed and then just took his example. I lived my life and loved my family.
We all cope in our own way. I initially worked about 21 night shifts in a row in order to numb the pain. That bone aching exhaustion is great for grief. Then one day is a little better. You never forget and I truly believe that my father lives on in me. My sense of humor, work ethic, sarcasm, choice of recreation, love of my kids/wife and on and on... He lives on in you also.
That’s what I’ve told my kids and I truly hope it helps mine when I pass.