Trapped in the outhouse by moose

Alaska Dispatch News ^ | February 28, 2016 | Shane Castle

[bgill]

When I’d go in to feed or clean, those mean things would dive bomb me. BBQ chicken is some goods eats.

[ShadowAce]

As a lad more than once I was trapped in grandfather's barnyard by his angry "domesticated" goose. It sure was a mean, hissing thing...

I never could understand that reaction. I was a boy with several meanish roosters. I also realized that I was a lot bigger than they were and was willing to use that to my advantage. They tried to get me once or twice, but never more than that.

Farm animals are not pets. Treat them like farm animals and they'll respect you.

[JRios1968]

In Soviet Russia, you bite moose

[stephenjohnbanker]

Yeah, fair is fair.

[HKMk23]

Ayyuh. Give him a more expansive view of the universe, I’d wager. Certainly he’d be much more open-minded thereafter.

[Ann de IL]

Yes, roosters could be really aggressive. One of my earliest memories is sitting on Grama’s back porch eating watermelon one summer day and the rooster attacked me and spurred me. I was screaming and crying and Grama came flying out the back door and beat him off with her broom. The next day we had chicken and dumplings and it was so good.

[Yardstick]

Those spurs are no joke. Guy I work with raises chickens and got spurred by his rooster right through his heavy leather boot and into his ankle. He said his sock was soaked with blood. His wife asked him to kill the rooster because she was worried he’d attack their young children. So, like many of these stories the final scene was a nice meal.

[Billthedrill]

I have absolutely been trapped in my cabin in northern Idaho by a moose - well, not trapped, exactly, but moving around verrrry carefully. I named my moose Phred when first I saw him, a cute little moosling, come into my yard with his brother and his mama four years ago. Phred is all right, but he's a wild animal and hence dangerous if he's spooked - what the hell, so am I. You gotta understand that stuff if you live up here.

Now, I am most unlikely to break out the firearm I'm nearly always carrying and dispatch my bud Phred, first because he provides a rather unique form of security - he likes to sack out in the front yard and believe me, nobody wants to go past a security moose. Second, because he's entirely inoffensive, and thirdly, because if I did I'd go from having a live moose in my front yard to having a dead moose in my front yard. That's a rather different set of problems.

For one thing, gutting and dressing a moose is not like gutting and dressing a deer. You can pick up deer with your hands. With a moose, better have a derrick. And be quick about it, because the meat is spoiling, and oh by the way, there's always that Fish and Game dude that pops up at the most inconvenient times. "Uh...what...what are you doing?" "I'm butchering a dead moose, sir. Watch out for the gut pile." It is at that point that the intricacies of state game law intrude on an already messy situation. Not to mention that if the feller doesn't come along the best case scenario involves several hundred pounds of moose meat next to the tater tots in an already crowded freezer. Sure, I can rent a meat locker if I'm quick enough and somehow transport human corpse-sized bundles of bleeding moose meat to wherever it turns out to be. Even in northern Idaho that occasionally will make eyebrows rise.

Besides, I like Phred even if he did deposit little piles of souvenirs in the newly melted side yard last weekend. If I'm lucky they'll freeze so I can shovel them away, if unlucky, well, the rain sort of melts them into a horrible goo somewhat reminiscent of cake frosting but not tasting anything like that...or so I am told.

But oh, my word, Phred has growed up - he's beautiful if you can call a critter made of God's spare parts beautiful. I guess I don't mind having him around after all.

[Silentgypsy]

Thanks for the entertaining story. I’m glad you’re happy with Phred!