LOL!
Nice idea, except for two problems.
1: The TouchID requires a living finger to work. It will not work with a dead finger. For example, you cannot cut of the finger of someone and have it unlock their iPhone.
2: The iPhone 5C doesn't have TouchID at all. It was the iPhone 5S's poorer cousin, which was sold without the features of it's fancier cousin.
No one laughs at jokes anymore.