It was global warming.
Global warming created DDT that the poor, fat sea lions slurped up like macaroni salad at a family picnic.
Families of fat sea lions slurping up DDT and then competing in the gunny sack race just before they die at their family reunion and then get gobbled up by stupid condors who lay wimpy eggs so that some pencil-necked geek in California can climb up to the condor nest with his laser egg shell thickness measuring machine and fall out on his head.
If there was any justice in this world, the dead, fat, bloated, DDT filled sea lions would be eaten by a killer whale who would then beach himself on some beach in California so that Governor Jerry Brown would rush to the scene to help the killer whale who would swallow Jerry Brown and that moron lived through it so that he would be smelling dead, fat, bloated, DDT filled sea lion for at least a week until the killer whale passed him out thereby showing the Justice that Jerry Brown ended up truly being a piece of whale shirt.