Posted on 09/19/2015 7:32:43 AM PDT by SeekAndFind
It’s a complaint at least as old as “Sex and the City”: Where are all the good, dateable men? Why are there so many amazing women and so few acceptable mates for them? For a long time, the conclusions drawn were that women were doing something wrong. Too aggressive, not aggressive enough, not putting themselves out there, putting themselves out there a little too often.
A new book “Date-onomics: How Dating Became a Lopsided Numbers Game” by Jon Birger sets out to show that women aren’t doing anything wrong: There just aren’t enough Mr. Rights to go around.
Birger explains that this is the experience nationally, not just in oft-mentioned dating wastelands like New York City. With more women going to college than ever before, there are only so many baccalaureate bachelors for them to meet and marry.
That seems reasonable at first glance. Hey, if a woman is looking for someone with her level of education, and this is a deal-breaker for her, then sure, there’s a serious shortage of suitable men.
Birger points out that a woman who was 34 in 2007 began college in 1991 when women outnumbered men on college campuses by 10 percent. He notes that “in 2012, 34 percent more women than men graduated 4-year colleges.”
The numbers are indeed daunting. But they obscure a question all of these unmarried college-graduate women should be asking themselves: Why does a degree matter so much, anyway?
In his book “The Higher Education Bubble,” Glenn Reynolds quotes statistics showing that the cost of college has increased 439 percent since 1982. Reynolds’ book discusses the crippling debt many college graduates carry and how many of their degrees make the debt nearly impossible to ever erase.
(Excerpt) Read more at nypost.com ...
“I’d hazard a guess that most women don’t want to be the man in the relationship . . .”
I’d hazard a guess that is exactly what the liberated feminist ladies (?) want. To them, any man that is assertive is too male.
Well, that would work to my benefit if I was in the market again.
Once those kids are of age, he’s free and clear. As for her laboring to “keep him happy,” I guess in the long run every woman has to decide for herself if it is worth it. (Unless, of course, he’s trying to “keep her happy” as well. Ideally, right?)
“And a man asking a woman out shows initiative, and I for one, would not want a man who I feel more assertive than.”
Post 95 puts it quite well.
I suspect deep down that is not what they want, they just can't admit it, until it's too late, and they realize the guy they suckered in isn't man enough for them.
I have no problem with traditional roles, but that does, IMO, include the men taking more initiative to date his wife and still treat her like she’s special to him.
That is true. . .it appears most women feel ALL men want to have sex with them.
I'll add that this still constitutes a LOT of men escaping that "trap."
Wait.... that still sounds like you expect the woman to work full time plus do all the cooking and cleaning once the kids are older.
Thank you for clarifying what you meant rather than what you said.
I think you are correct.
Men want sex. Women want commitment and male resources.
A woman who can get a high-quality man to commit to her and provide her with all the resources she needs for herself and her kids is seen by other women as having done well.
A man who can get a beautiful woman to provide him with lots of sex and affection is seen by men as having done well.
A woman who gives away her sexual favors without receiving commitment in return(slut) is not regarded as having done well.
The corresponding situation for guys is to provide commitment and all his resources to a woman who then lets herself get fat and unattractive, and who disdains providing him with sex (or worse yet, deprives him of sex while being unfaithful with other men). Such men are not regarded as having done well.
It used to be that guys could get to know women at school and at work. Now, with any relationship going bad potentially leading to an accusation of sexual harassment (with subsequent loss of job or expulsion), that venue is much less attractive.
I met my wife at work. Got to know her for a couple of years as friends before the first date.
Most women want to work it seems. My comment was simply to reflect what I hear women say and see them do. And talking in the third person really. In a perfect world I don’t need a wife to work. If she works, I still don’t want to do half the house work and cooking. 80/20 maybe. And every time I see some survey of who is doing what at home, most full-time working women are doing most of the cooking and cleaning. It’s kind of sad when I express such an opinion of what I want and do not want. The women generally have a sour disposition. If you require a man to work, cook, clean and raise the kids more evenly than somebody like me, then you find him. But from the article linked here, not enough of these guys exist.
I notice the younger men love feminism. Takes the pressure off to pay all the bills. And their whole lives they’ve been told women are equal to men in every way. I have a much younger millennial brother who is a house husband.
The future is here ladies. Keep singing anything he can do, I can do better.
NO, I was talking about the fact that women who have sex with lots of men are considered sluts and men who have sex with lots of women are considered, certainly not anything as derogatory as sluts, and at best, lucky.
HUGE double standard.
So you don't have a problem with a woman working full time and carrying the lion's share of the housework but YOU don't want to be the one who is working full time and carrying the lion's share of the housework?
So, you'd inflict on your wife what you wouldn't do yourself?
And men wonder why it's so hard to find a woman.
She's a helpmeet, not chattel.
Small wonder they don't have a good attitude.
Translation: the girls will pursue the "hot" guys, the "Alpha" males, during their 20's and ignore the "boring" guys who might actually have an interest in marrying then.
Then, in their 30's, when they see "The Wall" looming in front of them, when the "Alphas" have lost interest in favor of the latest batch of 20-somethings, THEN they expect the boring guys to "man up", step up and give them commitment, a house, etc. Then they can later rape the guy in divorce court to pursue their "eat, pray, love" fantasies.
That's my viewpoint as well. Married 30+.
A guy should make his best effort to make his wife happy, and his wife should make her best effort to make her husband happy. That is the outward manifestation of love: the willingness to make an effort and pay a cost for the sake of the happiness and well-being of the loved one.
If the other person thinks it's too much of a chore, then that is evidence that there is no love anymore, and a sign to make plans accordingly.
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