Video: Steeler star rejects participation trophies for sons

It started with this Instagram post, and turned into a national conversation on our obsession over self-esteem. James Harrison certainly has earned his share of trophies and accolades … but that’s Harrison’s issue with the trophies his sons received just for showing up. Harrison, who fought to find a place on an NFL roster before beginning his future Hall of Fame career with the Pittsburgh Steelers. Harrison, who came back to the Steelers after a season in Cincinnati and a brief retirement to resume his dominating presence, wants his sons to understand that trying is not the same as succeeding, and that success doesn’t come easy:

Ironically, the program was run by Charlie Batch, his former Steelers teammate, according to ESPN’s First Take. “That’s not the real world,” Stephen Smith says, pointing out that entitlement mentalities form around these kinds of gestures. “It de-incentivizes them to pursue excellence.” Skip Bayless disagrees in part, thinking that recognition of effort is important, but that it does dilute the impact of excellence and that “they don’t matter.” At that point, it transitions into a discussion of race and culture, for what it’s worth.

In Las Vegas, there was less sympathy for Harrison’s point of view. One commentator on this show says he still has all of the participation awards he received as a kid:

And here in the center of Minnesota Nice, CBS’ morning show panel also argued mainly against Harrison’s position, at least for 6-year-olds and below. However, they also acknowledged that there isn’t a whole lot of the participation-trophy syndrome in this state, thanks to a healthy impulse of competition — even while smiling at each other:

For me, I think Harrison’s point is well taken. Children should want to participate because they enjoy the activity, not because they’ll get a meaningless trophy at the end. Harrison and Smith are right in that awarding trophies for showing up makes them much less meaningful when earned. We spend too much time inflating an empty sense of self-esteem in children rather than helping them to achieve in a way that legitimately lifts self-esteem, and what we get in the end are people who think the world will be handed to them simply because they showed up. That’s not what happened to Harrison, and he wants to make sure his sons are prepared for that. Good for him.

On my last day they didn’t have orders for the last one to be put on my “official record” and said that it could be put in if I stayed over the weekend. Not worth the effort.

I hear you. When I retired from the AF, they wanted to put me in for a "retirement" medal and I told them not to bother.

"Why, I'm retiring...it's not like I need the points for promotion"

"We owe you this for all your years of hard work"

"No, you owe me my retired ID card and my retirement check. That's all. Put your effort into somebody who needs the points."

[NB: I also told them not to bother with the retirement ceremony, the retirement party, the retirement flag that flew over the Capitol for 3 seconds, and the autopen signed letter from the President]

And what about those stupid bumper stickers?

http://www.sunfell.com/sticker.htm

Sticker Schlock

It started innocently enough: “My child is an honor student at [insert high school here].” It was a simple declaration of pride and honor for the really tough achievement of obtaining straight ‘As’ and the respect of the faculty at the school. Stuck to the bumper of the minivan, it proclaimed to one and all that the kid who rode in it was academically superior. And there it might have stayed, except for a 90s phenomenon called the self-esteem movement. Suddenly, it wasn’t fair that only smart kids got these stickers- singling them out would hurt the feelings of the kids who were not quite as smart. Along came the parental one-upmanship bandwagon, and younger and younger kids hopped on- junior high, elementary- even kindergarten. “My Child is a High Achiever.” “My Child is Extraordinary.” “My child Attends…” Soon minivans and SUVs everywhere sported these bumper brags about the academic and social perfection of their offspring. Stuck in traffic behind one of these behemoths plastered with ‘My child is…’ stickers, I quietly wondered if there were any ‘average’ kids left in the world. If you believed the bumper sticker propaganda, there weren’t.

Then came the backlash. “My child beat up your honor student” seemed to be the most popular. “My Cat is smarter than your honor student.” “My honor student can beat up your honor student.” The sticker brigade returned fire with more and more outrageous claims of their kids’ genius, self esteem and capability. I saw one that bragged that their toddler was potty trained at a certain daycare, and another that pointed out that they were the proud parent of an ‘accelerated reader’. What was that? An ADD kid on Ritalin? Or a third grader reading at third grade level? How times have changed.

My mother once told me that I was picking out simple words from the newspaper at the age of three, and was able to write, count, and read simple books in kindergarten. My teachers were amazed, but no one gave my mother an ‘accelerated reader’ sticker to slap on the shiny chrome bumper of our ’66 Chevy Nova wagon. Nor did they hand her a ‘Gifted Student’ sticker when I tested nearly off the scale in fifth grade on their intelligence tests. No, they just called her in and suggested that I skip a grade or two, which she refused to do.

It is just as well that she didn’t get any bragging stickers- my bullying peers would have used my smarts as yet another excuse to beat up on me. Yes, honor students do get beat up (I did), and the stickers proudly proclaiming this nastiness are in very poor taste.

Why all this emphasis on bragging to one and all about the academic prowess of kids? Is it part of this insidious ‘self esteem’ thing that rewards kids for putting their clothes on straight and tying their shoes? Or are our kids really that bad off? Should they be lavishly praised for doing ordinary things? Or, like me, ignored for doing extraordinary things? Both extremes are dangerous. Both can lead to unfortunate expectations- or the lack thereof. Give an average kid too much praise, and you get sloppy work and criminally high self-esteem. Give a gifted kid too little, and you’ll get uninspired work and low self-esteem.

My own bumper remains silent to the fact that I am a USAF vet, left-handed, eccentric, Pagan, and definitely above average. I’d rather people find that out on their own, rather than reading it on my badly in need of a wash bumper. I saw a bumper sticker that really put everything in place for me. It was tongue in cheek, but spoke volumes about the direction our culture is headed. It read: “My child was Inmate of the Month at the County Jail!”

I saw the same thing. My grandmother taught me to read when I was 4, in 1st grade my teacher saw i was ahead of the class already and brought me the 2nd then 3rd grade books to work on. She went to my house to talk to my parents, my mother told he watch this. She handed me a copy of Reader’s Digest, flopped it open to wherever and told me to read so I did. Then she took it back and told me to tell the teacher what I just read so I did. She was floored...5 years old and actually understands Reader’s Digest???

So she took me through 3rd grade. My parents refused to send me away to a special school in New Orleans for kids that learn that fast, and refused to move me up a grade or two. I kept myself ahead the rest of my time in school. Nothing else to do and I was bored stiff. I’d find their book room and steal the books for the next year. Then bring them back. Sometime around 1st couple of grades they had me take an IQ test, 155. I don’t even remember it.

But you were right about being bullied because of it. My dumbass teachers would use me as an example. He’s a year younger than you and he can do it, why can’t you? (I started at age 5 since I turned 6 before Dec 31) I was immediately public enemy #1, you don’t tell a room full of 8 year old kids “he’s better than you”. I wasn’t better than anyone, I just learned faster.

I was the most hated person in every one of a dozen schools I went to for that reason. Got into fights because I refused to help bullies cheat. Chased one around the school with a baseball bat. One cornered me with 2 buddies and told me not to come back to “his” school. It was not fun, kids can be so cruel you’d never believe it.

When I finally got out of high school I had been screwed out of a chance at college, by my parents...Professor of music and director of bands at one of the best colleges in Louisiana told me he wanted me in his band. He had people lined up trying to get into college to get out of Viet Nam, he didn’t have to recruit. When I told him I didn;’t have the money for college he told me just keep a C average and we’d worry about money later...there’s way around that, he said. Nobody had ever done anything like that for me...not even close...I was floored. My mother refused to let me go to a jazz band festival, a very important engagement, I was kicked out of the jazz band, lost every friend I had (finally had friends for the 1st time in my life), college professor never spoke to me again, I was pushed, tripped, kicked, insulted, harassed in the halls the rest of the year...not fun...and nobody believed me when I told them the truth.

So yeah you were right, being intelligent made my life miserable. I just wanted to be another kid. What I got was my parents demanding I be a genius, other kids hated me because I was smart, not many but a few fights, idiots trying to force me to cheat, it was no fun at all. Sometimes I’d really rather be a normal guy...

I continued educating myself, I still read college level textbooks, I have a couple right now. I’ve studied archaeology, geology, some paleontology, a little psychology, still a musician, learned to be a machinist, mechanic, carpenter, computer technician, photographer...basically whatever catches my interest, I jump into it. Still do, the one thing I’ve done more than play guitar is learn...

Anyway sorry I didn’t mean to get so far off topic...but this is something I’m very familiar with...

I don’t care a thing about sports, but I agree with this guy. He may not be the paragon of virtue, as someone said, but he’s right about this. You don’t get a trophy for just showing up. Just like your job, you don’t get a raise for just being there, you get a raise when you do a good job, you get a promotion when you excel. Otherwise you just keep your job, if you’re lucky...

You want a trophy, win the game. The only awards I ever got I earned. Never got a damn thing for just being there except maybe a paycheck, and I had to work for that...

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