That’s not bad. I’d take it further. I’d only make slides for stuff that must be pictured. Basically give the presentation once in front of a whiteboard, anything people can’t understand until you draw it on the board gets a slide, nothing else. You don’t need a slide to present most of the stuff on his list, the problem should be one sentence unless it’s very technical, the solution 2 or 3, your business model is a couple of buzz words. Projection and milestones is an OK graphic, same with status and timeline, other than that talk it through. Especially in this post Mad Men world, just youtube any Draper pitch, his “slides” are images from the ad copy, he’s comfortable telling you this will increase sales by 10% in the first year, you don’t need a picture for that.