Posted on 07/17/2015 6:22:57 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
I have been in many places, but I've never been in Kahoots.
Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Kahoots with someone.
I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.
I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there.
I have made several trips there, thanks to my children, friends, family and work.
I've been in Consistent, but not on a regular basis.
I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore.
I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often.
I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.
Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older.
One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenaline flowing and pumps up the old heart!
At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!
I may have been in Continent, but I don't remember what country I was in.
It's an age thing. They tell me it is very wet and damp there.
Dr. Neil proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I started and hadn't finished; and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Pinot Noir, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bottle of Baileys, a bottle of Kahlua, a packet of Penguins, the remainder of bottle of Prozac, Valium prescriptions, the rest of the Cheesecake, and a box of chocolates.
You have no idea how good I feel.
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with young mothers. "You all have obsessions," he observed.
To the first mother, Mary, he said: "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."
He turned to the second Mum, Ann: "Your obsession is with money. It manifests itself in your children's names, Penny, Goldie and Frank (German father)."
He turned to the third Mum, Joyce: "Your obsession is alcohol. This too shows itself in your children's names: Brandy and Sherry. You even called the cat, "Whisky".
He then turned to the fourth Mum June: "Your obsession is with flowers. Your girls are called Rose, Daphne & Poppy."
Write your own ending
At this point you can either leave the story here, and just see if these patterns fit any of your friends, or else you can write a rude ending.
- "I know it wasn't rape-rape. It was something else but I don't believe it was rape-rape. He went to jail and and [sic] when they let him out he was like "You know what this guy's going to give me a hundred years in jail I'm not staying, so that's why he left." - Whoopi Goldberg on convicted rapist Roman Polanski
- My fear is that the whole island (of Guam) will become so overly populated that it will tip over and capsize. - Democratic congressmen Hank Johnson
- "I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required." - Sheryl Crow
- "In Delaware, the largest growth of population is Indian Americans, moving from India. You cannot go to a 7/11 or a Dunkin' Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent. I'm not joking." - Joe Biden
- "Isn't it a little racist to call it Black Friday?" - Joy Behar
- "Every month that we do not have an economic recovery package 500 million Americans lose their jobs." - Rep. Nancy Pelosi on a nation with 307 million people
- "African Americans watch the same news at night that ordinary Americans do." - Bill Clinton
- "Those who survived the San Francisco earthquake said, ‘Thank God, I'm still alive.' But, of course, those who died, their lives will never be the same again." - Sen. Barbara Boxer
- "A zebra does not change its spots." - Al Gore
- "We all know the leopard can’t change his stripes." - Al Gore
- "But we have to pass the bill so that you can find out what is in it." - Nancy Pelosi
- "Our nation honors its unbroken line of fallen heroes and I see many of them in the audience here today." - Barack Obama
- "This tornado is in Oklahoma so clearly it has been ordered to only target conservatives." - Daily Show creator Lizz Winstead on the Moore, Oklahoma tornado
- "John McCain has not spoken about my Muslim faith." - Obama
- "I think when you spread the wealth around, it's good for everybody." - Obama
- "I bowled a 129. It's like- It was like the Special Olympics." - Obama
- "I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that's a storybook, man." - Joe Biden on Obama
- "What you have is Mitt Romney running around the country saying 'Well, you know, my wife tells me that what women really care about are economic issues, and when I listen to my wife, that's what I'm hearing.' Guess what? His wife has actually never worked a day in her life." - DNC and Obama adviser Hilary Rosen
- "Many of my students don't know that I'm second lady of the United States… because, you know, it's a community college." - Second Lady Jill Biden
- "During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet." - Al Gore
- "I hope his kidneys fail, how about that? He needs a waterboarding, that's what he needs." - Wanda Skyes towards Rush Limbaugh
"I think religion is a neurological disorder." - Bill Maher
- "If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very very low crime rate." - Former D.C. Mayor Marion Barry
- "Eight more days and I can start telling the truth again" - Sen. Chris Dodd
- "The conventional viewpoint says we need a jobs program and we need to cut welfare. Just the opposite! We need more welfare and fewer jobs." - Former California Governer Jerry Brown
- "If a young fella has an option of having a decent career or joining the army to fight in Iraq, you can bet your life that he would not be in Iraq." - Congressman Charlie Rangel
- "Stand up ... Chuck, stand up, Chuck, let 'em see you!" - Joe Biden speaking to Sen. Chuck Graham who is wheelchair bound
- "If you've got a business, you didn't build that! Someone else made that happen!" - Obama"
- You can imagine in China it's like: 'Ching chong hugong, ching chong kong, Danny Devito. Ching chong chong chong chong. The View. Ching chong!" - Rosie O'Donnell on The View
- "My, I felt this thrill going up my leg. I mean, I don't have that too often." - Chris Matthews on Obama
And here's a bonus one:
“First of all, give an honor to God and our lord and savior Barack Obama!” - Jamie Foxx
Hysterically funny...to say my brain is “Logical”! hahahahahahaha
Iknowhuh?
Those quizzes are always good for a laugh! LOL!
Thank you for consistently providing a place where fellow FReepers can blow off some SILLINESS before the weekend.
I laughed this morning when I heard about 30 seconds of him speaking. He not only is sporting his equipment, he sounds like what he is, a man!
It caught me off guard for some reason. There’s this silly man, sounding just like a man, playing dress-up in women’s clothing, trying to tell people that you’re actually a woman!
So nuts.
Bill Clinton got $12 million for his memoirs. Hillary got $8 million for hers.
That’s $20 million for the memories of two people, who for eight years repeatedly testified, under oath, that they couldn’t remember anything.
Well, that’s mighty logical!
LOL.
Whoosh! https://youtu.be/_ba2wWgc8cU
I’m not convinced it isn’t a “work”. If so, he made a lot of people look dumb as Hell.
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