How many Supreme Court judges does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, she holds the bulb still and the world revolves around her.
An attorney passed on and found himself in Heaven, but was not at all happy with his accommodations.
He complained to Saint Peter, who told him his only course of action was to appeal. The lawyer immediately appealed and was told it would take 3 years to hear his appeal. The attorney protested that this was unconscionable, but to no avail.
The lawyer was then approached by the devil who told him that he could have the appeal heard within a few days if the lawyer would change the venue to Hell.
When the lawyer asked why appeals were heard so much sooner in Hell, he was told “We have all the judges.”