“You’ve got to meet someone or you’ll lose friends. They dump you for their man” is my favorite.
“It’s just so hard to meet somebody. Of course you can’t meet anyone.”
“I just don’t understand why someone as cool/pretty/smart/nice as you can’t attract someone.”
Imagine these repeated ad nauseam for hours. Seriously, except for the year I made the New Year’s resolution to “put myself out there” and brought it up myself, the subject never comes up in groups with married women.
Most older single women are that way because they aren’t attracting the man they want to be with. Either the bar is set by weird shallow things(he must make 250K but be home by 5:30 and have washboard abs, but I don’t want him going to the gym because he might flirt), they make choices/exhibit behaviors that put them in a position that men who would commit shy away from, or their lifestyle/career choices limited opportunities for meeting eligible men at a younger age.
I may just may have a little bit of all of these issues ;)
Issues: It’s why I went abroad to find a wife (I simply wanted a traditional woman that wasn’t obsessed with materialism). Marriage seems like a scam to me as a man. The man MUST pay child support and divide his assets. But the woman can leave at any time for any reason.
So I think that it may be easier for an older woman to get married once the fear of child support is over because the woman can’t have any kids. And that is one less stumbling block for a man. Of course by the time the woman is 40ish, will a 40ish man be interested in her back? Or will she have to settle for a 50ish man......hence going back to your point about unrealistic expectations.
“Most older single women are that way because they aren’t attracting the man they want to be with”
A lot of decent women don’t marry, because they’re not encountering decent men.
I waited a long time to marry, because it seemed like every guy I met wanted to hop in bed on the second or third date. The ‘sexual revolution’ had made sex so easy for men, that they didn’t bother with someone who was conservative when it came to sex and its responsibilities. They were also pretty dumb - not father material.
I didn’t even meet the man I would marry until I was almost 40.
There are no ‘rules’ about these things; it all happens for right-minded people when it should.
On the other hand, there have always been both men and women who had no interest in marriage, for various reasons- they were either asexual, or just interested in other things, and lived productive lives without marriage.
But nowadays, people like that are immediately branded as “gay”. People don’t think beyond their own natures, and can’t imagine that another person’s nature may be different.
not going to add my opinion or advice just my experience as a guy.
I was good at dating- meeting/attracting girls seems to be a family trait. I NEVER planned on getting married, I did what I wanted, dated who and how many at once on my terms; don't like it? leave.
Whilst out on the town to somewhere I didn't even know existed with a few girls I was seeing , I met the woman that made me realize; "oh, there you are".
I married at 40, had a child for our first anniversary and have never wanted another like I want my Wife.
what does it mean? To me, don't "look", but remember, that if you do the same as always, go the same places, do the same places, you will meet the same people.
when you do something different, different things happen.
I guess that is my 2 cents